Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
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2005-02-08 14:16:25 (UTC)

Superfish - 20050207

I am rapidly losing my motivation. 50 laps last night -
and horror of horrors, I had to swim in the MIDDLE LANE!
ARGH!!! :( I HATE swimming in the middle lane. It's like
wearing a bright red shirt! SPOTLIGHT! SPOTLIGHT! [-sigh-
]

Crap, I have to actually get some work done. Back with
more soon. I WILL write in here today no matter what...

So my motivation sucked and only picked up around lap 45.
YIKES!

So what did I do? A half-hearted effort to say the best,
but here goes...

10 x BS
1 x FS, 1 x BkS, 2 x BS = 30
10 x BS

Too many stops and starts, too many times I about started
crying in the pool, too many times I caught msyelf
thinking, why do you think you can do this? Why are you
even trying? You clearly suck, you clearly can't do it, it
wasn't until I got into (an unwitting on the other person's
end) race with someone that I found any modicum of focus
and thought, no, you will not beat me to the end of the
goddamn pool, I forbid it! My knee was sort of sore b/c of
my slip yesterday and my arm muscle is seizing on me for
some reason...

And rants from the gym from the weekend and last night - on
the weekend, Sunday, in the shower closest to the door into
the pool, and old lady was having a shower, completely
naked and without any semblance of having closed the
curtain...now, go right ahead, but I just don't want to see
anyone I don't know naked (and then, only some people I
know are allowed!)...and then last night, the kids from the
swim club were in the pool before us, and in the same
shower - I am going to investigate, maybe the shower
curtain is repelled open by a strange gym-change-room force
(!) - was one of the kids from the club, zero clothes,
washing her hair like it was normal as day and I was like,
dear god, I don't dear look anywhere near you for fear of
being labelled a pedophile or some such! Jokes in bad
taste aside, I was depressed as hell over that before I
even got in the pool. I don't want to look like I'm 10
years old or 12 or 8 or however old these kids are (I'd say
ten, maybe) - I want to look like a nice, beautiful, mid-
twenties-something woman with a respectable body and
mind... but I don't look that way and I don't feel that way
and I about slid right deep into depression over that
stupid incident last night. I couldn't get out of the
change room and into the pool fast enough...

Of course...the deep end of the middle lane as a water jet,
and so for the first 2/3 of my tenuous, torturous time in
the pool last night, everytime I ended up at the end of the
pool, I can't tell you what, but it was a gross feeling. I
love warm water in the pool, but I don't like swimming into
the warm water jets. It always reminds me far too much of
some gross bodily function that I want no part of... [-
grossed-out laugh-] German porn is nothing I want in my
head right now, or ever! [-lol-]

Right...that is it for now. I have to get back to
work...BLAH!...

K2


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