Landslide

Let's see how long this lasts
2005-02-08 03:08:33 (UTC)

What happened to me?

Okay I have to do this or I'm not going to be productive
for the rest of the night. I was in a tolerable mood
earlier today. I don't know what happened. I really guess
that I'm just PMSing so none of my concerns are probably
legitmate at all. I'm sorry I've been pouty (pouty isn't
really the right word, but I don't know what the right one
is. down in the mouth, depressed, I dunno)this evening. I
don't know where it came from, but it smacked me in the
face. I felt like I was a nuisance. I am sorry. I guess
I just associate the way I felt today with the way I feel
when you're about to break up with me. It scared me. You
may not be unhappy at all, but if you are please tell me.
I don't want to be a problem. I don't want you to be
unhappy. I worry for you. You've seemed happier lately.
I just don't want to crowd you. I'm sorry if I tried to
force myself on you earlier. I truly appologise. Please
forgive me. And remember, if by some chance you do break
up with me sometime in the future, and I put this in
writing, if you can bring yourself do so in my
undesirability (way to make up words) kiss me before you
break up with me. Once again, just ignore me if you want.
I think I may just be moody. Sorry.

Peter says that I'll change more between the ages of 18 and
22 than any other time in my life. If that's true. I hope
that I change for the betterment of my personality. Ihope
I will not become anymore intolerable that the person I am
now. I mean, I looked at my face in the mirror about ten
minutes ago and all I saw was ugly. I guess all women have
those days. It made me unhappy. Sorry. I don't know who
that appology is to. you? me? God? I dunno. I'm just
sorry.

Final thought: O Fortuna ....Carmina Burana




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