Bruce Wayne

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2005-02-07 15:38:26 (UTC)


So I find myself, quite litterally, between jobs. I gave
my notice @ Drax and accepted a position at ACP but I've
had some serious second thoughts.

I spent 3 days in CT last week and have been anxiety
riddled since. It was like they were waiting for me to
drink the Kool Aid. Dave is a motivational speaker and is
very smooth but I always feel like he's trying to sell me.
There was contradiction after contradiction for the whole
3 days I was there and I ultimately, don't think I'll be
happy there. There was another new hire there to be
trained and he made a comment about being a literal person
(and spoke for me as well) and felt that the way they do
business was confusing; asking for more than they really
want and settling for less. Things just seem very unclear.

I called Richard and discussed the reasons I left and he
asked if I thought if I were going from the frying pan to
the fire. I told him I too was concerned with that and
asked if my position would still be there if I were to
call Monday (today ) and want it back...and he said yes
it would be.

I spent all weekend so uneasy about this but I called Marc
this morning and have decided to go back to Drax. Once I
get the call from Richard and he tells me I can come back
for sure, I'll call ACP and drop that bomb. It's not going
to be well received at all, but I have a strong sense that
I'd be miserable there and out of a job soon.

I'm definitely questioning my desire to be in this
business anymore. The Money's great but the travelling is
beginning to wear on me. I think I'd like this a whole lot
more if it were a local gig. Honestly, I don't want to
work any more, but unfortunately that's not an option. In
fact, we're buying this property with Linda and there's
one more committment financially. GULP

I'm just trying to get this out of me in hopes of getting
rid of some tof this anxiety...this sucks!!!!!!