butterfly423

MY LIFE.. or something kinda like it
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2005-02-07 07:10:49 (UTC)

Super Bowl Party.

We went to Teddy's aunt, Donna's,house for Super Bowl. All
in all, we had a good time. Alyssa was unusually mean
today. She was throwing fits everytime she didn't get her
way, and embarssing me. I guess that's what kids do.

Teddy didn't completely ignore me today either, so i was
happy about that.

It seems like when we are at his family gatherings he tends
to stay away from me, and only conversate with everyone
else there. Most of the time I talk to Kayla, and I chase
Alyssa around b/c also he doesn't help much w/ her at the
gatherings. He doesn't do it to be mean, half of the time,
i don't even think he realizes it.

Tonight, he was hugging on me more and telling me he loves
me every so often, which was nice, but I would like for him
to turn to me sometimes and start a conversation. Like, to
tell me that he saw something cool, or whatever. Like, he's
supose to be my best friend too, and I end up feeling like
his "old lady". That's not neccessary until we are at least
45!

There are just some little things that really worry me
about him, sometimes. For example, there is a movie i've
been wanting to see and it's a movie that we have agreed
on. He's always saying that he wants me to watch movies
that he would like so that we can watch it together. We
were at walmart and he goes to "see how much something was
in electronics" which i assumed that it would be that
movie, b/c we had talked about it. But he actually bought a
Lord of the Rings game for the play station!!!! THEN, had
the nerve to say "I couldn't decide whether I wanted this
or THE GRUDGE"

I was pissed at first b/c DAMN! But i haven't said anything
about it b/c I'm trying to keep the peace. I love him and
he said that i was driving him away w/ my bitching. so I do
not want to do that, but now i feel like i should keep all
my feelings to myself, or he'll think that I'm bitching.

I'm married and it's still confusing! Isn't it supose to be
settled and a lot easier when you're married? As far as
understanding each other?.......

Either way, I love him and I'm not going to let anything
come between us, and I hope he feels that way too. It's
just so hard to grin and bear it sometimes when I am so
lonely!!


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