tearsxforxwater

cuncerns of my heart
2005-02-06 03:50:49 (UTC)

plz comment--i need advice...............

ok so i have this cousin........his name is johnny....hes
sort of a pothead.....an he failed highschool an well
beleive it or not hes really smart....an well one of the
main reasons i went to the family x-mas party...was so i
could talk ta em.......an when i got there.....i avoided
him.
i really dont no why
mayb because las time i saw him(at the x-mas party) he
looked pretty good almost like he mite have his life
tagether...an that scares me because i dont want to b the
only on in my family thats insane
mayb because last time i hung out with him i got in
trouble......for watchin a movie i wasnt allowed ta
see...but i feel asleep before the commercials n e way
mayb because last time i talked to him on the phone i got
in trouble.......because i wanted to read sum of his poems
an they were too "dark"
mayb because last time i talked to him.....he was the
first person i told how i felt about killing
myself....because for the first time ever when i was
talking to him..he turned down the music an looked me in
the eyes an listened ta wut i had ta say
mayb because when i really talked to him las....i felt
like we became close.....an im afraid he doesnt feel the
same......
mayb because im jus the biggest idiot in the world
so i have a choice..i can call my aunt cindy an uncle
john.....an i can get his new numba, but if i do they then
no i want ta talk ta him an they mite think thats a bad
thing an tell my parents an all.............or i can jus
wait till the next family party pray that hes there an
hope i have enuf guts ta actually approach him an talk ta
him




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