Living Out Loud
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more drama... i feel like TNT
we know drama...
ok, so mo got really pissed at me yesterday. Oh, what a dramatic
day. First of all, let me start out with a few background points. One,
I'm getting sick -- like a cold. like my voice is going. Two, there's
this get together every thursday in Jeff's room called No Pants
Friday. All we do is sit around, drink beer, and don't wear pants.
apparently, it's a pretty exclusive thing. mostly 'cause they don't
want it to be a loud raucous party and his room is not that big.
so yesterday at lunch, I was telling Jenn (a friend of Mo's and of the
guys' and mine) that I probably wasn't going to work because I
wasn't feeling well. so she's like, you should come to No Pants
Friday. and I was like, I don't know, I have this Rape Crisis
Counseling Training tonight, I shouldn't drink. so she tells me i
don't have to drink, just come over. so i finally decide i will.
later that day, i just sort of mention to Mo that I'm going to no pants
friday and she got all kinds of pissed off. she's yelling at me telling
me i should have invited her (this is the first time I've been invited, i
don't feel it's my place to be inviting other people...). then as i'm
leaving, she goes, "go have fun with MY friends." so now I'm not
supposed to hang out with anybody who was HER friend first?
Really, what the fuck? So I got pissed at her too but left anyway.
And we all had a ROCKING time! It was great, just chilling and
drinking with no pants on and NO DRAMA! and of course I drank
and got just a bit buzzed. and just as i'm leaving to go to my
Training thing, Mo and Sarah crash the party. which is fine, by this
time I've forgotten all about being mad at her. So I'm like, "Oh, too
bad you got here just as I'm leaving." and she's does this face like
pure sarcasm, oh too bad. so I'm like, i take it you're still mad at me.
and she just shrugs, so I take off. fine. whatever. let her be pissed.
so i go to my meeting. drunk. which was great. i tell you what, i was
SO paranoid somebody could smell it or otherwise tell.
then i met up with them at legends and mo was still acting pissed
at me. so i ignored her for the most part and talked to Jenn and Jeff
and Yar and whoever else was there. And then jeff and I were
JUST LEAVING ;) and Mo started having a breakdown and
sobbing at the table. so I go over and I'm like, tell me what's wrong.
how can i fix this? and she's just like, you're on their side. just go.
go fuck Jeff. and pushes me out of the booth. so i'm like fine, fuck
her, i'm off.
So Jeff and I go back to his room. He's so much fun and I'm so
comfortable with him. I don't feel like I have to slip into that "sexy
me" persona. I can just joke around and have fun.
Anyway, then I just dropped him off at the bar and went home. and
Mo comes stumbling in at like 4 AM sobbing about stupid things.
like she fell down. and she doesn't like how she looks. and about
the media promoting stick thin bodies. which i understand, but she
was WAILING about it. loud enough that our RA came in to see if
she was allright.
and so when she woke up today, everything was peachy fine. ugh,
these mood swings are killing me. remind me never to marry a
woman. I hope i'm not that bad.
but today, i went to this conference all about the mindset of the
different classes in our society and the way the lower class thinks
as opposed to the middle class and why we dont' understand each
other. and i got so many insights as to my relationship with rob and
why things didn't work out. I didn't understand the wya he worked --
he always just spent money like it was water and didn't have any
plans for the future and that drove me crazy. but anyway, so i was
thinking about him all day.
and then zack called last night and called me the most beautiful
woman in the world, etc.. etc.., so i'm wondering what's up. and he
told me that a lot has been happening he just didn't have time to
talk about it all, and he's not called me back and i'm dying of
anyway, i'm staying in tonight and studying Bio, so I'm going back
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