Billwilson

Recovery of a Sex Addict
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2005-02-03 08:29:22 (UTC)

I sliped

my new sobrity date is january 31 2005. I thought I was
doing great. Then I got the idea that it might be a good
idea to read some other peoples diarys. so I did a search
for sex within the diaries and started reading. I
thinking that I could get away with lusting just a little
bit. boy was I wrong. before I knew it I was jerking
off. then I was looking at hardcore porn. then I was in
a chat room lying about who I was, and that I was not
married. God I felt like shit after that. The thing that
was different this time was that I installed my mic and
ended up talking with this girl over the mic and told her
that I was single. It was like I had taken yet another
step into that downward spiral... see when I get started I
cant stop. I see this leading more and more toward me
cheating on my wife just to get off. I do not have the
power to control and enjoy lust. So I hit this bottom
after the chat room. and got into alot of fear about
getting caught. I really felt like shit. and totally
disconnected with God. I am tired of being a slave to
this.


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