My Ruined Reputation
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2005-02-03 05:36:10 (UTC)

Blessing In Disguise

Well today was better. Not all that much better, but I'm
grateful for what little things I get. Jasmin was still
really upset about Erik moving and not telling her. I wish
there was something I could say to make her feel
better...I know just as well as anyone else that he
doesn't hate her. So we did shit at lunch(and barely got
away with it too) and that made me feel a little better at
leasy. I guess it didn't make Jasmin feel any better
though...I'm still feeling it too. I took more than her
though because last night I didn't feel anything. Then
after lunch in Life Skills Lauren spilled that Noble likes
me...like more than a friend. So I'm in a weird position
now since Gigi likes him too and she's my friend. That and
the fact that Noble is my friend and going out with him
would just be kinda weird...but if he asks me out I don't
want to say no because then I'd feel bad and things would
be awkward between us...and just no. I swore I'd never go
out with my best guy friend again after what happened with
Jacob even though me and him are ok now. At first I was
all happy but then as it sank in I realized the bad things
about it. x.x But other than that Jacob might come down
here during Spring Break, so I'll be all happy to see him.
Although I doubt he'll actally come down. He said he was
going to come down here at the beginnging of the year, and
then it was for Thanksgiving, and then it was during
Winter Break, and now Spring Break. So I'm not going to
get my hopes up. Then when I got home I found out that
Randy and Tiffany are totally over now and that she was
playing him. Wow how did I not see that coming?! (That's
sarcasm) I always thought she was a slut but I didn't want
to tell him...I'm just sorry that it happened to him
because he's so nice. He did almost everything he could
for that girl and she turned around and spits in his face.
I hate people that do shit like that...it's so fucked up.
In the long run, I guess it'll be a good lesson to
remember, but it hurts at the time. In some ways I think
that's what our teenage years are for...To prepare us for
the hardships in life. So when we're out on our own we'll
know just what to do in certain situations. So maybe all
of our pain isn't just something of a sick joke after
all...Maybe it actually has some meaning to it.


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