friends foreva

loving life??
2005-02-02 20:45:33 (UTC)

i no

i no i aint wrote in dis diary 4 a while but hu givs a
fuk rite? i dnt care if i sound bitchy atm cos ive just
had
my heart ripped out so alll u's can understand den if not
u
can fuk off, yes dats rite i h8 life :O shocker aint it?
ive got 2 fukin exams 2moz n i cant do any of em cos dey r
goin 2 b rock solid :@ o wel hu givs a fuk if i fail i
fail
so wat dnt care no more i hav a broken heart n ive bin
left
2 pik up da piesces i dnt giv a fuk no more its bout time
ppl got 2 no da real me cos im sum1 hu doesnt 4giv n 4get
im sum1 4 revenge but i wil just c how things go den wont
i
wel ppl im just warnin ya im on a ram page i feel numb so
i
wont feel guilty

*the lost soul*

*EDIT*

these exams aint important, whos gives a fuck bout them
calm down, life is shit, but it gets better, and dont go
shoutin at me sayin it wont, coz thats wot i thought, but
hey it got better. i no ur really hurt, but it will get
better, just give it time
i no, u dont wana hear all this shit, but if ppl r tellin
ya then they care


k, plz, smile, b happy, dont h8 it all


luv ya all

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

i no dey arnt important its just all snowballing if u get
wat i mean everytin dat is happenin 2 me its all happenin
at da same time n its just 2 much 4 me it really is u
remeber how i use 2 b how much i h8ed life? wel i h8 it
even more now i no wen he dumped me i was down but i mean
hu wudnt b rite? but i was gettin better but he keeps
kickin me bk down n it now is really gettin 2 me n he dnt
even realise it n dnt worry i wont go shoutin at ya but
its
really hard 2 explain how i feel atm

*the lost soul*


*EDIT*

wots he dun this time??

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

he keeps treatin me like shit summtimes n it wud b like he
is leadin me on n i dnt like dat i like ppl 2 b honest but
he cant seem 2 b like dat he really upset me last nite n
he
dnt even no he did he put me in tears

*the lost soul*


*EDIT*

maybe hes confused, im sure he dont mean to hurt u, just
tell him that ur hurt

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

i hav so many times but here i am yet again hes hert me n
i
cant take it no more im lower den wat i hav eva been n its
all coz of him im not blamin him exactly but da thing is i
h8 him 4 wat he has done 2 me n how he is treatin me but
da
thing is i stil like him i hav mixed feelins bout him ive
really hav hit rock bottom now he has her me so bad dat
was
wat i was so afraid of wen i went out wit him dat he wud
hert me n luk wat he did he has hert me so much n he
doesnt
even no he has

*the lost soul*

*EDIT*

maybe he nos hes hurt u but doesnt no wot to do, becky try
b happy, i no its hard, but no1 nos how to make u feel
better
sent him an email tellin him this or somethin, u gota try
sort this out, if u dont u mite lose him as a friend

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

he dnt listen 2 me no more he listens 2 u, i no it needs
sortin but he dnt even realise hes doin it n its gettin 2
me i no i need 2 b happy n god nos i am tryin im in pain
atm moment n in da way u no da pain is 2 deep do u no wat
i
mean? n i promised myself i wil neva let dis ruin mine n
his friendship n im goin 2 keep dat promise

*the lost soul*

*EDIT*

ok, do u want me to try sort it out??? or r u just leavin
it 4 now?


*the angel that fell*

*edit*

lol u can try but how wud u sort it out? but how wil u
sort
dis out? ow

*the lost soul*


*EDIT*

i duno, i can try, if i was to talk to him, wot do u want
him to do? wot wud make u feel better??


*the angel that fell*

*edit*

wel dats kinda hard 2 answer but i wud like it if he just
stopped hertin me u no so i wud stop hertin myself ive
just
had enuf

*the lost soul*

*edit*

ok well tell me all the stuff that hes dun that has hurt u


*the angel that fell*

u want 2 no wat he has dun 2 me? ok den wel 1 of da most
things dat hav got 2 me is how he only went out wit me cos
i wanted 2 no now dat has really got 2 me cos he dosent
care he DNT care dat he did dat 2 me wen i told him dat i
knew dat all he did was laugh like it wasnt a big deal i
mean how dair he? n den he rubs in da fact dat he neva
liked me dat way n he really does rub it in n den wat
really gets 2 me is da fact dat he really likes u i no u
cant do anytin bout dat but im a really am a jelous person
n i dnt mind like but wen he rubs it in its like torture n
i really h8 it n den he leads me on n everytin n den he
treats me like shit summtimes n it really gets 2 me dats
da
main stuf he has done 2 me

*the lost soul*

*edit*

ok becky, i no hes hurt u, but wen he went out with u he
thought it wud stop u hurtin
h thought that if he went out with u then u wud stop
hurtin urself. i no it seems mean, but he thought he was
doin the right thing, he thought that if u had gone out
with him then u wud find it ok to get over him. he didnt
want to hurt u, he thought he was helpin. and ur a gr8 m8
becky, ur 1 of his best m8s, he dont like u bein hurt,
thats y he did it, to try and stop ur pain

and about him likin me, god he must b blind, or dum, i
mean come on i am a complete bitch, no1 likes me

becky hes not meanin to hurt u, i no it mite not look like
that, but he mite not know wot hes dun to hurt u


*the angel that fell*

*edit*

did u tel him about wat i was doin 2 myself? cos if u did
y? i no he prob didnt mean 2 hert me but i was better off
b4 cos it wasnt deep is u get wat i mean? but now it is
gettin deeper n i no me n him r really close m8s n i will
neva let dat go, i no he aint meanin 2 hert me n ye he
prob
dnt no himself but u no dat i rarely cry? wel da utha nite
he sed sum stuf 2 me n he made me cry ME dats how much he
hert me

*the lost soul*

*edit*
i dont think i told him, i no wot u mean, but u really
gota try, wot did he say the other nite??


*the angel that fell*

*edit*

ok gud ty i no i hav 2 try n i am i wil copy sum stuf frm
my chat logs
[19:44:25] (U)*the lost: rich wud u eva go bk out wit me?
[19:44:56] mi bro got j: ow do u have 2 ask that????
[19:45:01] mi bro got j: sorry
[19:45:17] (U)*the lost: yes i do sry but i want 2 no plz?
[19:45:23] mi bro got j: i dont no#
[19:45:47] mi bro got j: coz i like u and al l but i just
dont want 2
atm
[19:45:59] (U)*the lost: ok but y?
[19:47:01] mi bro got j: coz i like other ppl and it kinda
wrecked
friendship
[19:49:50] (U)*the lost: wel wat i was goin 2 say b4 was i
no dat u
like utha ppl like gill n it only wrecked the
frenchship
cos i was listenin 2 everytin i was bein told n
im such a
plonka but if u did say yes den i wudnt dis
time
i wud
listen 2 u n i wudnt even mind if utha ppl stil
flirted wit
ya or u flirted wit uthas cos i trust ya just
dat nite i was
made 2 think utha things as u no
[19:50:34] mi bro got j: yeh
[19:50:41] mi bro got j: i no wat she said
[19:51:17] (U)*the lost: so?
[19:52:12] mi bro got j: no
[19:52:18] (U)*the lost: ok
[19:53:18] (U)*the lost: sry 4 askin
[19:53:51] mi bro got j: no i dont want 2 sound mean but i
just dont
want 2 id feel realli realli weird
[19:53:58] mi bro got j: and it wudnt work
[19:54:25] (U)*the lost: wel y wudnt it work?
[19:54:59] mi bro got j: coz it wudnt feel rite it wud
feel
wrong
thats y
[19:55:35] (U)*the lost: y wud it feel wrong?(sry 4 all da
questions)
[19:55:57] mi bro got j: coz ive known u 4 ages way 2 long
[19:56:26] (U)*the lost: omg dis aint fair i wish

it just really got 2 me dat nite

*the lost soul*

*edit*

ok but becky he is tryin, he dont wana hurt u, and he
tryin to b honest

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

i no he is dats y i aint fallen out wit him but he is stil
hertin me n i want him 2 stop

*the lost soul*


*edit*

well i think u sud tell him wot he did to hurt u, explain
y it hurt u, and c wot he says, ok?

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

i dnt no how can u tel him plz?

*the lost soul*

*edit*

just go look u bastard (or polly which ever u want) u hav
been makin me feel really bad when you ....(add reasons
here)... please could you stop because i dont like being
upset. thank u, luv ya xxxx

and if that dont work punch him, tell him that its to try
make him understand how much ur hurtin, tell him your
hurtin 100 times more than that punch hurt him

k?

*the angel that fell*

*edit*

lol wel dat is a very gud concept lol n ye i wil prob wil
do dat i wil tel him soon

*the lost soul*


*edit*

ok good luck


*the angel that fell*


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