i run a lot. i run for exercise because i hate it and i am
a firm believer that you only grow character through doing
things that you don't want, which is why i sanction rape.
haha, sorry, needed a nice little laugh. anyhow, i run a
lot. but mostly i run out of necessity, like when i'm
trying to catch a train that is just pulling away from me,
slowly inching further and further, like some flirtatious
girl pulling her partially bared-breast just out of your
lately it's been pretty fucking slippery on the platforms
and i've done a good job at avoiding any awkward bumps and
bruises by doing my austrian pimp roll up to the awaiting
train. only today i was in one of those temporal
predicaments that didn't really allow me to saunter up
towards my chosen caboose in the usual leisurely manner that
i reserve for these occassions. i was fucking late. the
train was leaving in exactly 42 seconds and i was just
rounding the corner from the escalator towards the
automatically opening doors.
i slammed the fuck into them.
jesus christ i slammed into them. apparently these doors
are not accustomed to people hectickly dashing through them,
so they failed to open quickly enough for my sake and i
collided with them. i shook off the hurt, bit my lower lip,
and ducked low, diving through the narrow opening that was
slowly creaking to an exit in front of me. then i kicked it.
and then i realized a fundamental principle governing our
sweet world. one needs traction to accelerate.
then hit that moment. that moment when you realize bad shit
is gonna go down and it's gonna be your ass when it all
ends. i flailed, i flailed this way and that. i shot my
right foot out at a 29.5 degree angle to be exact,
and......miraculously.....caught my balance.
and i tore the shit out of whatever the hell connects your
torso to the rest of you. the pain reverbrated through my
spine and hit my brain.
ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! i yelled within me. what the fuck was
that? what the fuck organ, muscle, tendon, and/or ligament
did i just fuck up? is that even a body part? oh christ!
people are staring at me. ok nick. you're a paralegal.
you're good in these situations. and i hunkered over and
shuffled towards the train. the conductors of the train had
watched me with a bemused look and where now just standing
there by the end of the train. i practically crawled up to
them and the guy says to me with the biggest grin a man can
"nah, yah, know we ain't leavin' with outcha. why you gotta
go and almost hurt ya'self?"
on a side note, i want to atleast document here that the
iraqi people are the most courageous i have read about in a
long fucking time. they went to vote while they were being
attacked. they were told, "we will kill you if you try to
vote." and they voted.
fuck you guys for trying to yield a high turnout.
let's say one guy voted. one woman. all the weapons of
hatred are pointed at this one person yet they still have
the gall to do what should be an unquestionable right.
let's say just one person voted in iraq.
tell me that doesn't make you just nod in admiration?
christ, in afghanistan? they did it too! why aren't these
the two greatest celebrations of all our times? certainly
it was more important than brad and jennifer?
well my utmost admiration goes out to the people of iraq and
afghanistan. those that voted showed their courage, what's
more they validated why we have our friends and family
struggle in those hot temperatures in the first place.
oh and is it true that brad and jennifer are having a baby?