roni vohs

crying MY regrets
2005-02-02 00:23:53 (UTC)

i lost him forever

i wonder if anyone feels the same right now? i wonder if
anyone wants me? i wonder if i want them? why am i alone
and not with the guy i want to be with? maybe were just
meant to be friends. you cant even call us friends anymore
we dont even talk as much any more. i thought it was going
to be better this way. now i feel like ill never get the
one person i love with all my heart back ever again...like
im lost with out him...he is the one that makes me complete
in life..i cant believe im lost out with him. At one point
i thought i knew what i wanted in this relationship and i
thought i had the love....but i wasnt sure if it was lust
or love...but now i know for sure that it is love....and i
know what i want.....what i want is him more than ever.i
wish i can take back that one regretful day and tell him i
love him more than anything in this world and i would do
anything for him to prove the love i have for him...but
since i didnt he is now with another girl that he loves
dearly...and its breaking my heart everyday i think about
it....why do i love him so much? someone answer that for
me.every time we look at eachother, i feel motionless,like
i am afraid to move or say anything, and i am soo
speechless i cant take my eyes off him....i wonder if he
feels the same when we make eye contact or when we talk. i
doubt it..but this might sound wierd but everynight i have
an image of me and him standing at the alter saying our
vowls... i never ever have any other dream but that one and
if i do then i still have that image...i love to see
it...it makes my day but im still sad as fuck. Since i cant
have him in my arms i just pray to god to take care of him
for me.... i have written so many poems for this guy i can
publish a book...right now....im miss him so much i can
never explain...now im sitting here on my ex favorite
holiday ever which is Valentines with out the one i
love...but he is going to have a lovely day with the girl
he loves now...and all i have to do is sit here and cry my
eyes out...i want to move on like he did but i cant...like
im starting to like this guy named hector but i call him
grey...we're both getting feelings for eachother like we
cant stop thinking about one another...were talking like
eveyday...but i think im scared to move on...but want to so
badly...i think its becuz i want the one i love instead of
starting all over again...he has scared my heart forever
with love...i wish i can see his smile one more time so i
can smile for once....a smile that i can remember forever
and ever...right now im rememebering our first Valentines
together...it was the best day of my life...we were
laughing and playing around all day....he would tickle me
until i couldnt breath and said i got to go to the rest
room....and we went to medevil times...for my mothers bday
since its on Valentines day...im not going to let this
stage for a very long time.... i just wonder to myself if
we will ever be together ever again...like my image does
when im alseep...i want that answer ol so bad...now im just
sitting here heart broken and starting to cry




Ad: