2005-02-01 18:24:20 (UTC)

i don't know why

I feel so horrible like totally depressed and i think i
know why. See last night i got so mad at roger and it
was horrible. I think and i am not even sure but i
thought i saw him looking at Janelles ass and well she
is nasty. But he says he didn't and he was sorry if he
did but he didnt even mean too. I was liek sorry i slept
with someone else last summer but i didn't mean to
sorry, liek not really just as an example and then when i
left he was next to my window and i was like fuck you
bye and started backing up and then he kept saying i
didn't what are you jealous then i rolled up my window
actually hitting his face,but in my head i was screaming
YES I AM JEALOUS not of her cause she's nasty but the
fact he was looking at her and to be honest i don't think
he ever really did look she trys to get people to look but
like most people don't and i really don't think he did but
well he was liek I love you amy i love you as i pulled
out and it was crazy i felt so bad and then i had the
worst sleep liek i kept waking up and i was tossing and
turning and everything i woke up feeling liek shit my
whole body hurts and i am so like depressed today and
i can feel it it is the worst feeling in the world. The worst
part was that i am taking this creative writting class and
it just started today and i feel liek this is where it all
begins... in that class, well anyway we had to close our
eyes and they were like imagine yourself anywhere in
the world any time period any continent anywhere well i
like burst out crying not that anyone noticed because i
mean everyone's eyes were closed but it was because
the only thoughts in my mind was him it was blank but
all i thought was that anywhere anytime the only place i
want to be is in his arms i don't really care where
though like she was saying in this low voice that made
me feel like she was one of those love everyone love
the world kind of child of the 70's type well describe the
smell the sounds and everything and it was this great
feeling of warmth and i just felt so good and happy and
i smelled his axe which smells so good and it was the
best feeling o cousre that wasnt what i wrote about just
what i thought i love him and i don't like fighting with

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