Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
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2005-01-31 21:47:26 (UTC)

BEING A SECRETARY SUCKS, PART II

I think I really might cry.

The guy from the file room - with whom I was getting on
really quite well - I think is pissed with me.

Wouldn't you be?

I need all these files, right now!

Except - I wasn't going to ask him. In fact, I was
standing there doing my thing on my own when I got
interfered with - and now I'm pissed and now he's pissed
and he just said, I'll get the rest for you tomororw, okay?

Only problem is, I am not here in the morning. Someone is
going to be pissed with that. I could just fucking cry.

ESPECIALLY because a few minutes ago, after all this
rushing around, the head secretary who put this ball in
motion comes up and says, You can do the rest tomorrow. I
told [the chief] and she said it's okay to finish it
tomorrow.

I almost broke down in tears.

I fully admit my incompetence. Absolutely and fully. I
don't know how to be a secretary and I'm doing my best.

BUT STUFF LIKE THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. That means it
wasn't that important to begin with.

Of course, it would have been really nice had they given us
more than a couple hours' notice that this had to be
done... by the end of today...

I'm sure I went about it all the wrong way but I don't
know. I just want to fucking cry. I want the world to
leave me alone and I want to cry. I want to just fucking
get this bullshit angst over with and find a career and
find the path I am supposed to be on and take it.

Because I have news for you. I can't take THIS any more.
I have been saying that for years but I'm going to say it
louder this time. I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS ANY MORE.

I technically get to leave now - b/c I didn't have lunch -
but I don't dare ask. I'm already a half hour past when I
am meant to leave b/c I'm making up a doctor's appointment
for tomorrow.

Despite my incompetence, I look around and see people far
worse than me and I wonder, how can this be? How can the
world run this way? What the fuck is going on?

[-sits down and thinks about crying but doesn't because she
just can't, not right now, and goes back to doing the
STUPID WASTE OF FUCKING TIME FILES-]

Oh, and listen. Wheezie is bitching again. Sometimes she
has good points but she is so fucking ingratiating...just
so fucking ingratiating...

[-feels tears coming but forces them to stop-]

I feel so terrible for making J do all that work...I know
there is nothing I can do about it now but it will bother
me for days.

And now they are talking about bloody RSPs and stuff and
Wheezie doesn't know what she is talking about...but yet
complaining still...AS PER.

[-takes a deep breath and then just fucking SCREAMS but
silently-]

More later...after 1715 when I am finally more alone than I
am right now...

Yours,

K2


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