TLC

Crazy Love
2005-01-31 11:13:50 (UTC)

56

From: TheLadyDusky 6/8/2004 10:06 pm
To: LordDusky (220 of 222)

"From April 1:

A. You aren’t able to contribute financially and I
don’t need you to. I can add your car to my insurance with
little trouble."

Andrew,

You knew about the ssdi, but felt it wasn't appropriate to
contribute to the household. You thought I knew about this
income and I had no idea it was there. I understand that
part; we really didn't cover my situation very well at all
in retrospect. You had vague knowledge of the other income,
I had none. The reality is that I have the ability to
contribute to the household financially, or live elsewhere
alone.

If I had known, would I be living with you, you ask.

I've been thinking about your question. You thought when I
accepted your offer to move in to your home that I was
making a decision having all the facts you already had.
That I had the freedom to stay put, move elsewhere, or join
you. The reality is I had no knowledge of the income, so I
did not have that freedom of choice. I could stay in a room
at my parent's home or go with you in yours. Either way, I
felt like a total charity case. The simple fact of the
matter is that I could very well be sitting in that room
rotting while my parents "handled" my income and kept me in
the dark.

I understand why you are now questioning my choice to join
you. Did I move in with you because I felt I had no other
choice? No. If I had been looking for an escape from my
situation, I would have asked you and a lot sooner! Would I
have still joined you if I had known about the income?
Absolutely! Had I known the facts, I would have moved
before Thanksgiving 2003 when you first asked. I have never
doubted the sincerity of your motives, but I also didn't
want to be your baggage. In April, with nothing, I wanted
to be with you so much more than I wanted to be without
you. Today, with a cushion, I want to be with you so much
more than I want to be without you. We are finally on the
same page.

My supposed complete lack of money made me delay moving in
to your home long after my heart was ready to join you. My
financial cushion allows me to freely choose staying where
my heart is happy. With you.

Paula






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