TLC

Crazy Love
2005-01-31 10:34:44 (UTC)

14

From: TheLadyDusky 4/29/2004 5:25 am
To: LordDusky (26 of 222)

Welcome to my evil little world. I was told by a former
tdoc that what you saw is a Nocturnal Anxiety Episode. They
don't happen very often, and they are pretty mild compared
to episodes experienced by other people. I've had them
since I was a child, apparently. My parents treated them as
nightmares from which they couldn't wake me when I was
little. It happened more frequently then, and became less
frequent as I got older.

It was explained to me that in my case, the NAE is a way I
release stress when I don't vent during the day for long
periods of time. Or it is a reaction to pent up emotions,
or new stressors/emotions that my conscious mind does not
want/is not read to deal with yet.

Really tho, I think it is the thoughts, feelings and words
that get trapped inside me breaking free while I am
sleeping and not able to actively rein them in as I
automatically do. Stifled self expression errupting during
sleep, I suppose. Now you know one reason I would never
spend the night with anyone!

I am very moved by your actions and words. I wish I could
remember it. I have never been treated so gently, with such
genuine concern as you have shown me both during and
following the NAE. I woke up around 5 a.m. I think, all
toasty and snuggled up with you. It felt so wonderful that
my brain didn't panic at this new experience. I just went
right back to sleep. When I woke up at 9 a.m. I was pretty
confused tho! I stayed in your bed a little while with the
cats stretched out next to me. We agreed that we liked
waking up there.

Thank you for being so warm and taking care of me. Please
know that in my mind I am bounding into your arms, kissing
your neck and cheek, and whispering my love for you. I hope
I can allow my body to follow thru very soon. Right now
tho, I can't reach out, I can't come to you on my own. Can
you meet me half way?

If you beckon I will come. If you extend your hand I will
happily take it. If you open your arms to me I will melt
into your embrace. If you rest your cheek to mine I will
fill your ear with lovingly whispered adorations.

I need your help to get from here to there. Please?

Paula


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