Charles Deason

My Blue Sky
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2005-01-31 00:03:24 (UTC)

Following my Heart

My weekend wasn't too exciting. It went by so fast, I
barely had time to enjoy it! But oh well, everyday is a new
miracle. Each day brings chance, and choice. The weather
outside isn't too well. Its cloudy, cold, and muddy. I
can't wait for winter to come to an end. I'm sure spring
will bring new hope and promises.
I've decided on a lot of things lately. My biggest
decision was whether to keep following my heart or not...
It led me to a lot of pain and misery. But it also brought
me great happiness. Those hurtful feelings I deserved... I
made a lot of wrong decisions, and others I failed to make
at all. I'm ready to stop living in my own wants and
myself. I let go of my pain, but the memories will always
remain.
I'm still very much in love with Astrid. We've been
talking to each other a lot lately... which is really good.
I tried to let go of her so many times... but for some
reason, I just can't. My heart keeps leading me to her in
every direction I take. I'm doing my best to gain back her
trust and faith in me again... and her love. I'm almost
sure in my own opinion that if things keep going in this
direction, I'll be leaving to visit her soon in the near
spring.
Shes been doing ok so far. I know I'll always be here,
or where ever else I am, to help her through the hard
times. And not just her, but for all my friends. And of
course, I want to help my family too. I'm keeping everyone
in my prayers each night. I can only do so much on my own,
but with God I know I can do anything I set my heart and
mind to. Thats about all for now, I'll be sure to update
again later.


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