Jonathan

Random (boring) Thoughts
2005-01-30 20:34:34 (UTC)

Gone to the Movies

When you have few friends, you get used to doing things
alone. Case in point is going to the movies. (I suppose I
should be insulted, seeing as nobody is willing to sit
next to me in a dark room for two hours. It's not like
they have to talk to me or anything. . . .)

Every time I enter a theater, I know that everyone around
is looking at me thinking, "I wonder what his problem is."
It's human nature, when in a group of strangers, to look
to the guy who is worse off than you to boost your own
self esteem.

Personally, I do not like attracting this kind of
attention. So, I came up with a sure-fire way to not look
like the
biggest loser in the cinema.

I like to carry around a woman's coat, and place it on the
seat next to me when I walk in. This gives the impression
that I'm with someone who just happens to be in the
bathroom at the time. A quick exit during the closing
credits, and I find that I can fool most movie patrons.

In rare cases where saving face is extremely important, I
like to buy two of everything at the snack bar. When you
show up to a movie with two sodas and a jumbo popcorn,
everyone assumes that you're with someone. After all,
noboby would be stupid enough to pay movie concession
prices just to save face.

Nobody, that is, but me.


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