lovephilly215

Zach101
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2005-01-30 16:15:55 (UTC)

Wondering

Snow...what a lovely thing that Pennsylvania has to offer
us. I don't mind it, but too much is enough and we seem
to have too much. I just wonder when it will go away and
bring the sunshine back; However, Pennsylvania has offered
me greater things than snow. I have friends that are
truely wonderful some not so great at times but we seem to
take one step at a time. Philadelphia, not the best city,
but one of the greatest to me. It seems like a small town
that masquerades around as a big city, thats how I see
it. We also have small cities that are homely feeling to
some extent such as Harrisburg and York. I guess we have
green grass too, well those who like the country view on
life, there is plenty here. Not me, I want buildings,
sidewalks,streets and all the offers of a city. Moving
onto others things, such as "ships" of all kind. My
family life is going well, those who know me, know I am
not exactly a wonderful family member (they say I can be
too outspoken). Hmmm go figure, me outspoken??? I know
I'm truthful and not afraid to say it if it is in my
mind. As for friendships, could be better. Have long
lasting ones and new ones developing still. The long
lasting friendships will always be there, we have come too
far to let them go. All the good memories and moments
shared. Just to name a few: ("ghetto booty"), ("Deborah
from Philly-yea right,try Willow Grove - Bernice")("the
white boy that turned West Philly out-guess it is what I
do best") but any how some of my new ones I am still
unsure of. One too many fake faces. One minute you talk
the next you seem to be getting stared at. I really try
not to make time for those things unless I have too. I
want people to take me as me, not some one to talk with
when needed. As for love and lust, it has always been
there for me (Crystian can tell you all about that) but I
really never pursue those who I want. Thinking why??? I
seem to take those who want me, but they really don't want
the real "me." They want another pretty face, bedroom
skills or to use me to get somewhere. Yes, pretty faces
and bedroom repertoire is important but there is more to
people, much more. Guess that is why relationships never
work out for me, I don't know what I do wrong or if it is
even me??? If some can answer that feel free to. I have
slowly been developing feelings for a person ("sweets").
I like everything about him so far. Eyes, smile, mind,
personality and he seems to have a genuine soul. All of
which make him a great him. When I talk of him or think
of "my sweets" (if I may call him that?)I feel as though I
am floating on a cloud. I met him about 3 weeks ago and
have been developing feelings for him only for about 2
weeks. Why do I have such strong feelings at this point
in such a little amount of time? I can't even figure that
out, but I am not complaining. I think it is too soon to
give my all, but I want to. I don't want to lend my
heart,body and mind, but give it. As long as it is kept
with respect and protection, I am happy. Well now that I
have been telling you what I have been wondering over the
restless nights, you know where I stand. Tell me, where
do you stand? I guess Pensylvania isn't that bad after
all,not when you can share the joys of life with other
folks.(Yeah, they are not your typical southern folk, but
these northerners have their own sense of life, some more
sensible than other folk--ha)Keep on smiling and keep your
head up, even if they are in the clouds...any thing is
possilbe!!!


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