alistha

The things I would never want the people
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2005-01-27 23:49:48 (UTC)

Good?

some say it is good to talk about what you are thinking and
what has happen to you.
the way i was raise this was not the case
you never spoke about what you were feeling or what you
thought on less it was based on hard facts

It wasnt until this year that i realize the lack of
comunication in my family.
We all felt that we had managed to get to a wonderful
place, i was going to college, my brother had a good job,
and my parents were doing extremelly well in there business.

then it all went to shit

starting in november or 04 my dad went in for a regular
check up (there was kicking and screeming involved) and the
lab tests came back positive for Hep C.....
that was only the begining
he found out that he had Hep and that he should start
treatment soon, so he did some research on the disease and
tried to find the best treatment possible. When he thought
he found it he went in to do all the preliminary junk and
started treatment in May.

The treatment was the worst thing i have ever seen.
He had to give himself a shot once a week and take 1200 to
1600mg of ribiviron a day. and the combination of the two
cause "flu like symptom"
actually it was more like watching my dad on his death bed
every weekend.
It was so bad that i took extra hours at work just so that
i wouldnt have to see him like that.
This continued for 3 months and then when he went in to be
tested to see if the treatment was working it turned out
that instead of decreasing the viral count in his liver the
treatment had actually doubled the load.
my father was then taken off treatment and had to go
through with drawls

As if this wasnt bad enough, i left for college.

During the the first month of college my family moved into
the garage to wait for the new house to come and be
installed.

My mom was out training for the Kona Ironman all the time.

My brother was working and my dad was left alone in the
garage to suffer the effects of withdrawl from drugs all
alone

It gets better.

through the graphvine (a frantic email) i hear from my
brother that my parents have been fighting a ton)

then a few weeks later my brother tells me things are
getting better

I come home for a visit thing seem fine and dandy.

Next week mom comes to visit and tells me she is not happy
and wants a divorce!

I think: wtf are you kidding me where did this come from
she: i have been thinking about it for the past 10 years
Me: what?
she: well i never wanted to move to the ranch (the first
house i lived in, moved there when i was 6wks)
me: yet you did any way
she: i was afraid of what your dad would do
me:so you only stayed for us (kids)
she:basically

well i tried to talk her out of it but there was not even a
doubt in her mind

one week later my dad comes to visit, the divorce papers
are signed and the whole thing is done and he has a month
to come up with a 1/4 of a million dollars to give to my
mom.

yeah we were struggling to seen me to school which is only
12,000 a year

i dont know i was so lost

i totally felt as though i had no home
i wasnt used to college yet my mom was gone and on top of
it all i could even go sit in my room because it was gone
now.

I got very depressed, I was a totally different person.

even at school i had way to much going on and then to add
all the stuff happening at home

the worst part of the whole thing is that i had no idea
what was going on until it was all over. i heard the idea
and then the whole thing was a done deal. It was so fast
and unexpected.

I vow that if i have kids i will actually talk to them.

communication really is a good thing and everyone should do
it, i never thought so but know i do.



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