Danny

?WHY?
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2005-01-27 14:28:28 (UTC)

Questions and Answers

Well, I have a lot of thoughts that i'd like to write down
here, but being so early in the morning, i can't seem to
combine them into a half decent paragraph.

The last few days have been the usual, wake up, go to work,
come home, go out (maybe) go to sleep. Sounds pretty
boring, and sometimes it is. It helps thought when you
have someone else to spend that bit of time with between
the getting home part and going to sleep part...(maybe even
past the going to sleep part ;-) )

I still have questions I ask, and I still get answers, some
what I want to hear, some I don't; but all of them make me
think, give me a new perspective, help me grow.

I saw a child and father (i'm assuming) on the subway
today, the same two i saw a week ago, and like a week ago,
the child was crying. Both times it acted as if it wanted
to "get down"; to stand on its own on the subway and
explore. But the father knew better...the child was too
young to start walking around on a moving
vehicle...especially the subway. She would have fallen and
hurt herself (i'm assuming it was a girl by the pink
snowsuit). He tried telling her this, but she just cried
and tried to get down.

It made me think. Does the child really know that the
parent is protecting them, or is te child to wound up in
her world that she has to experience at all costs?
Being the eldest grandchild of 8 grandchildren, I've
witnessed many actions from both a parent telling a child
what is good for them, and a child telling a parent what
they want (and if they didn't get it, they'd get mad and
often cry). What my mother used to do, and I think it is
right (for some reason she knows a lot about raising
children...(she did raise 3) )....what she used to do is
just let them cry. Let them "cry themselves out" until
they realize that they can't get what they want, or that
they totally forget what they are crying about.

They cry because they can't express themselves. But they
are restricted from whatever because they probably dont
know any better.

So you ask the question...when do they know better? (or
even worse, will they ever know better?) As the child
grows, the parent must let go, slowly, to let the child
experience life own its own....to make their own mistakes.
But, another reason, probably subconciously on both ends,
why the parent lets go, is because they have taught the
child to confide in them. My parents have let go of me
awhile ago (although they still hold on in some
aspects...what caring parents don't?) but they feel better,
i'm sure, about it all because they know that I will go to
them if I need help. If I have a concern, question,
comment, or anything, I will go to them and seek their
answer. I may not like it, I may take it, or even ignore
it, but it assures both myself and my parents that even
though I'll take risks, I am talking it over with them to
see if I "missed anything" that may end up hurting me.

Guidance....

Why do we have friends? To have fun with, to enjoy and
experience life with. That is not the only reason though.
Friends act like a parent to us, just not in a parent
image. We talk with our friends, tell them our dreams,
expectations, and wishes, and they in return tell us
theirs. Why do we do this? For guidance. To see what our
friends would say. Tell your friend you are thinking of
running the next stop sign...and the friend (if they really
cared...i mean really really cared) would inform you of a
better option = to stop.

Either from friends or parents, or others who care, even
though we mature and grow individually, it is the guidance
of friends and family that make us who we are, and what we
follow. If I had parents that didn't really care about me
because they had their own problems or whatever, and I had
friends that really didn't give the best advice, or
guidance, then I'd probably be who knows where today...all
because I would have made different decisions that weren't
properly thought of or "consulted" upon. Its not
dependance..but its not independence.

Its like we independently depend on others. Heck, that is
why people exist. If we were born and lived our lives in
solitude...nothing would get done...every would go
crazy...and life would be boring.

So when does that child know they are ready to make their
own decisions? When they are ready to stand by them. When
they know that they have considered all possible angles,
and that the outcome is a favourable. Especially when
there are those "guiding lights" helping us along the way.
The worst thing that one could do is turn their back on
that light. (What if the sheppards turned their back on the
star over Bethlehem (just an analogy...not saying it did or
didn't happen) well, the story would have been different.)
Again, a choice....weird huh?
Decisions, will you accept them or regret them....

And what happens when all of those you "consult", whether
they are friends or family, all say the same thing. To do
the same action, take the same course. Are they all wrong?
Its Possible...but probable?

We all carve our own markings....walk our own paths...make
our own decisions. But it is through the influence of
those that care from where our decisions are made. As a
person matures, these guiding comments from loved ones turn
from being told and demanded to (because the immature don't
know better) to "this is just what I think" type of
comments (in hopes that the recipient of the comment is
able to see the effects of their decisions). We all can't
see the future, but we can put two and two together based
on experience. Ask a question, and get the most popular
answer, based on the most popular experience. Ask: What
happens if I throw a ball straight up in the air? Answer:
it'll come down. A simple answer based on experience from
many. BUT, tell this to an astrounaut, and they'll
say, "ya, it'll come down...on earht, but not in space,
where I have been, where I have experienced...". And of
course, some will argue that the ball will fall beacuse
they have never experienced weightlessness...and in result,
won't agree with the answer.

But, if you aren't going to listen to an answer to your
question...why did you ask it?


-----UPDATE------
Well, not really, another thought just hit me. Go on MSN,
look at your contact names. They are the names of friends,
and usually they have a saying beside it, always about
feelings, or whatever is going on in that person's lives.
These sayings are almost like attention grabbers,
conversation started:

Sam:Living Life and being happy says : hey, whats wrong....?
Julie [alone again...what the hell?]: not much, just
feeling down...

And so it goes...the story told, experience shared, advice
(guidance) given, as well as comfort. Its almost like we
crave guidance, we crave comfort, and we act out in any way
possible to get that attention...whether its shaving your
head bald, getting a peircing in your nose, or just
shutting the world out.


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