Lala's Log
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2005-01-27 00:34:32 (UTC)

I'm a bad bad lesbian....

Okay I went to this site to look for some female luvin and
it asked what kind of gay person I was: bear, top, bottom,
or stud. Stud is the only one I know so now I'm on the
hunt to figure it out. I think I know what top and bottom
means but what does my sexual perference matter...and
actually I don't have one. I like to give (ya got to love
a women screaming your name. It makes me have the biggest
orgasim!) and I like to get. So I'm all kind of confused.
To add to my confusion Chris moved out today. I wasn't at
home and I don't know if Abby was. Its so werid the room
is so bear but it wont be for long. Abby has big plans for
making it her room, which it always should have been but
she took the couch and gave Chris the room so what do I
care I've got the master bedroom. Abby could have just
moved in my room God knows I got enough empty space but no
the couch is what she wanted so I let her have at it! I
know I'm not in love with her but she can still hurt me
without meaning to. Like today she told me she was going
to marry Olga because she is closer than and can read her
better than anyone she has ever met (made me feel like
crap, because I felt like a dumb as for thinking that we
would last forever.) but I just smiled and said as long I
can be the flower girl that I don't care! Then when she
wanted me to go out and buy her ciggs she said " I love
you and your hair looks pretty." Which I know shouldn't
have been anything but my heart panged and I just wish
things like that didn't hurt me because she is so over me
that I don't think I even made a dent in her life. She is
a huge [email protected]#$ING speed bump in mine! Then my daycare job
says I need all this shit that cost me money that I just
don't have....:( :( it really hasn't been a bad day. Its
been a drag your feet in the mud day...