Journal of Ranting
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2005-01-26 23:59:53 (UTC)

topic of nothngness

HA last coupla days have been so confusing for me. we got
so much snow saturday and crap that my plans to got to
phantom of the opera with joe and to dinner with joe and my
uncle. but noooooooo it had to get spoiled and crap. my
hand is feling better now that i can type better and not
have it hurting. god i love joe and you know what he's my
everything, i can't live without him and i know that sounds
crazy for me being a teen and you know what i just dun give
a damn fuck what anyone says. SK had a snow day today and
we didn't. what the fuck does out superentendent think we
are, magic or something. yes i love joe he cares so much
for me, but i soon think it'll all fail and he will find
someone new. i hope he dosn't and crap and damnit i lovehim
with all my heart and i wish i could tell him all that i
want to tell him but it's only been 4 months and crap, you
know what i give him till june and we are outta high school
that'll show him how stupid i can be, as i said i can be but
not that i dun want to be. he really suprised me yesterday
when he ate a lot of veggies, do guys really eat a lot of
veggies and crap and i did somethign really stupid yesterday
and i thought he would hate me for it and i called him today
and said i was really sorry and that i called for three
reasons and crap. one reason was to say i was sorry and the
other was to ask him for some info and he has no idea what i
was that info for and he'll never find out and then last
reason was just to hear his voice. hearing his voice man i
only get that with my uncle when i miss him and he's out and
then i never felt it with pete nor my other b/f's and i know
that i love him (joe) because damnit i never thought i'd
miss hearing his voice and tho i almost always talk mean to
him and hit him and it's not in an abusing way it's sorta
playful he's everything to me. i am terrified of losing him
and then there are his downsides and that gets to me, he
gets good friends and tho not often he gets invited to go
places and crap and then he never takes me out and i wonder
why, why doe she i mean we could meet places by taking the
bus and crap *sigh* mayeb it will get better but i doubt it.
all know is that i miss him terribly and that i love
spending time with him tho it's not often that i do. well
going to go get food

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