The Quest
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2005-01-26 20:46:34 (UTC)

Day two

Second installment, and I am feeling quite proud of
myself. I never thought I would ever make it this far, two
days of writing is proberbly better than any form of diary
I have ever kept in the past!

Well today I did go out, but not as successfully as I had
hoped. It turned out that it is my parents 30th aniversery
(sp) and so I took my mom to go watch "Shall we dance", it
wasn't such a bad movie, it just unfortunatly got very
soppy very quickly and so was a extremely difficult film
for me to sit through. Why my dad did not take her is a
different story, I guess partly financial but I have
reason to believe that even if there was not a financial
side to the issue he still wouldn't go out. It's just the
way he is, I hope I don't become like that, I think he
misses out on a whole lot of what life is really about.

That brings me to another issue, what the hell is life
really about? I mean, I'm a Christian, I believe in God
etc. but and, I guess maybe because of that I seriously
don't see much point in my life and many of the lives of
the people around me. I mean we all seem to run around
trying to earn enough money to buy that house / car /
happiness and yet in the end what can we honestly take
with us? I think thats what life is about, just being
happy with what you have, yeah I know it's not easy and
God certainly knows I'm not entirely happy with what I
have. But I guess that makes me a work in progress. I mean
I'm doing well enough in many areas of my life, in fact a
lot of people could proberbly look at me and say "If I
had all that he had, then I'd be happy". But you see it's
all relative and most people are unhappy. It's sad but
true. Yet every now and then you meet someone that has got
it just right, he hasn't married a super-model, hasn't got
a big fancy sports-car, doesn't live in a mansion on the
mountain, but he is happy with what he has. I guess thats
what I want, I want to be happy with what I have, I want
to stop looking to that next increase, or new house or new
car and start looking to life! Then I would have achieved
something I could be really proud of.

Back to the original reason for the diary, the score
remains 0-0, though today I saw a really good looking
young lady in front of me in the queue for popcorn and
cooldrinks, she was alone. I hope she was just alone in
the queue and not alone in her soul, it's that feeling of
deep dark emptiness and despair that really can eat away
at you. No-one should ever have to be truely alone. I hope
I never am...