chelsss

a thousand clever lines written on a tho
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Ezoic
2005-01-25 23:45:29 (UTC)

ugh...depressing

I just don't know what to think anymore? I feel so lonely,
so empty inside...a part of me is missing and somebody out
there has that part of me..I don't quite kno who...I wish I
did....and the thing is, I'm looking....which I can't do, I
just have to wait for it to come to me...but WHEN is taht
EVER Gonna happen...at this point in my life it honestly
feels like it's nevre going to happen...Jesse was my
first "real" relationship...well in my mind it was...I
thought he was something special, and I thought I was
changing his life for the better...not that I WANT to
change ppl, but just me and him being togehter, I thought
he came to a realization..I made him cry more times than
he's evr cried in his WHOLE LIFE...I thought that meant
something......but I was wrong, he was just the same
old "Jesse Adams..aka Pimp Gator..aka PLAYA"...yea....I
wish I realized all the bad things he had done to me during
our relationship..like telling me to lose weight...and
telling me to take care of myself...he told his friends I
didn't treat him right, and that I had a low sex-drive..I
was like MAN, every girl must have a low sex-drive compared
to you, I tell ya..he's a fuckin horn dog, and that's ALL
he wants to do, is fuck...but like, me not treating him
rite? what..I treated him like he was the only one that
ever mattered to me, (dont worry girls, it's just a
metaphor)...i mean, sure I didn't buy him as many things as
he bought me, but to me, money doesn't buy love, sure..I
was flattered he thought about me while shopping but..it
didn't bring me closer to him, i just thought it meant he
cared....it was the little things that made me feel
special...but he just kept wanting more and more from
me...and I swear he only used to me for 1) ASS and 2) to
get closer to Stacey...which by the way he is now going out
with, and she's a FUCKING WIGGER POSER BITCH WHORE...and
stacey WAS my bestfriend, until she started pullin shit
with Jesse and then she stole my discman for "revenge" and
spread shit about me and got ppl to hate on me....ffff,
shows what a friend she was eh...and then she goes around
sayin IMMMMMM the bitch....she once told me...shewould
NEVER date jesse, she knos too much about him and
she "knos" he's a player...and she would NEVER even think
of doing that to me, especially after what he did to
me..tht was also a big pile of BULLSHAT...she also said
that jesse was saying to her that ,, theres still time for
him and her after me and him were done...and apparently she
said "Uhm, jesse, it's called friendship" ff..bs, she sooo
wnated him and she SOO agreed with what he said...man..she
did evreything she could to break us up and be w/ him, and
she did...she also tried everything she could in her power
to hurt me and bring me down...and THAT she failed
at....I'm not letting no fake ass bring me down...anyways,
just had to get that off my chessst..blah, p'cee


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