Charles Deason

My Blue Sky
2005-01-25 22:24:42 (UTC)

Recovering... cannot let go

Today was a productive day for me. I got a lot of
parts off the heart of the engine of my car. Its been so
cold outside lately that working on it this time of the
year is near impossible. There isn't a lot of daylight time
either so its even more difficult. I'm sure I'll be driving
in my car by the time spring comes around.
I told Astrid the other day how much I love her... and
how much I'm in love with her. I can't let go of her... no
matter how many times I tried, shes still there, right in
the middle of my heart. Its alright if she doesn't feel the
same feelings for me as I do for her. But I'm almost
certain that she feels something for me. Its like my soul
is calling me to her once again.
Its very hard to describe actually... Well, I don't
have to describe it. Love isn't just a feeling, its a part
of existence. I called her the other night. haha it was so
wonderful hearing her voice again. I wish I could hear it
every day. I'm sure she still feels distant from me, but
thats why I have to talk to her. Like I said before, I let
go of those painful memories, because I want to replace
them with happy ones with the girl I love. And if I'm never
able to....well thats ok.
At least she can enjoy her life the way she wants to.
As for me, I've learned so much in short amount of time...
Its like everything had to happen so I could learn. And now
I just have to put faith in myself and rebuild what I lost.
I'm not worried about myself or my life anymore, everything
will fit into place in time. well, thats all for now I'll
write again soon I guess