My River Within
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2005-01-25 18:28:46 (UTC)

NEw year....New me?

Well since this is my first diary i will try n keep p with
thenew year as if it were just. I feel as though with it
now being a new year 2005, like i feel now more then ever to
make changes my life but not big changes TO which changes i
refer to are within me, and nothing more. Evrythin i know ,
and everyone i know from now on i feel as though ihave to
make an effort to improve the relationships that ihave made
with evrythin and erveyone, this is my year resolution, and
God willing hopefully i can complete it. I had recently
been in the hospital twice in one week for once being in a
car accident, and the other havving a somewhat seisure.
where i had not control of my words or actions, but yet at
the same time i was letting myself for those few hours, be
the REAL ME! at this nonetheless it was at times hurtfull to
those around me, like my family. I had to be hospitalized
for almost a week where i basically had to relax and be in
control of my actions. i got out last wednesday and now i
feel like i have to restart my life again and hopefully for
the first time , have the kinda life ive always dreamed as a
boy. BUt i know that it will take effort on my part and
hopefully i can get help from others on the way. there is
so much i want to write and this being my first entry i dont
want to use it all up on 1. so in conclusion from now on i
need to try and keep a positive state of mind, and a open
heart to invite a kinda life that perhaps in the past i was
denied for so long. I will pray more, and such to try and
achieve this. CAuse im sure in the end if i do achieve this
goal, not just me but evryone else will be happy and in
peace for my effort complete. i have faith in that and in
others so i will let life and myself finally take its right

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