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2005-01-23 03:46:16 (UTC)

5 - Moving Day

It's 1030 pm on Saturday night. I should have been at my
dad's house already but I'm still at Chris and Sara's.
The weather was too bad up there and my family asked that
I stay down here one more night and let the worst of it
pass. I didn't mind - leaving has been a lot harder than
I thought it would be.

I went in to work yesterday at 1:00. Michelle had left
for a bit because her puppy had eaten her glasses and she
had to go get new ones. She finally got back at about 130
or so. They ended up having pizza delivered, they had
bought a cake and Michelle and Steph had bought presents
for me and made me the most wonderful scrapbook! It was
so incredibly touching. I am so glad that Steph (pickle)
always has her camera with her no matter where she goes.
It really paid off with that.
I left with Michelle when she got off at about 500. We
went to her house, let Hannah out to potty and Michelle
got changed. We left from there and went to Meijer to
cash my check and do a bit of shopping. I felt like
dressing up so I bought a new shirt (pink and white with a
wee little bit of blue in it), a blue tank top to go
underneath it and some make up. We got back to Staples at
about 900, changed, did make up and then a group of us
(Rosie, Jerry, Elgin, Duskie, Erin, Sara, Kyle, Michelle,
Stephanie, Chris, Elgins mom and grandma, Terry (just so
that i can remember everybody!)) went over to DaddyO's.
They had it all planned and everybody showed up! I was so
happy! I had a lot of compliments on how I looked which
made me feel great. Antonio looked fuckin tasteful.
White hat on backwards, yellow polo tight on his arms.
Yummay! We ate, had a few beers, danced. It was a good
time. Erin was the first to leave. It was so hard to let
her go. I know I bitch about her a lot but I truly do
enjoy her friendship. She's been good to me for the most
part. I never realized how much she depended on me until
she started talking about it last night. Sad, really.
Antonio left and that's what started the tears really
flowin for me. I've really looked up to him in these past
4 months. Sure, we play around, tease, have our fun but,
all in all, he's been such an important part of my life
lately. We decided to go to Pickles house and do Dance
Dance Revolution. SO MUCH FUN! Such energy it takes but
MAN did we have a good time. Her mom was awake with us
the whole time and the 4 of us talked forever. Pickle
ended up falling asleep on the couch so we decided it was
time to leave. My heart sank. I can't stand leaving
these people. I want this daily routine to be around but
I want to have it up in Valpo. Michelle drove me back to
my car which was at Staples and we sat and talked for a
bit. She gave me a card (Sweetest fuckin thing) and we
said our goodbyes. We cried together for awhile. She had
some wonderful things to say that really made me feel
good. She mentioned how hard the road ahead of me is
going to be. She told me that as much as she hates it she
agrees with my decision to leave and is proud of me for
making the right decision. She told me that no matter
what she's always a phone call away and will do anything
and everything in her power to be right there for me
whenever needed. Michelle is an awesome person. Sure, I
get annoyed with her a lot. I disagree with the way that
she handles a lot of situatuions. But, whenever it has
come down to me needing a friend, she's been right there
no matter what, no questions asked and never wants
anything in return. She just does it. She's true. I'm
gonna miss that bond.

I'm going to try and contact Heather and see if we can
maybe do breakfast tomorrow while her family is at
church. That'll give us the chance to finally meet before
I leave. We'll see. Hopefully it works out. For some
reason, it just doesn't feel like I'm leaving her behind.
This time is so much different. Lord help me when reality
sinks in and I realize that I don't have my Snooks
anymore. I dont know if I can make it through everything
ahead of me without her. :

I'm in such a blah mood. I don't want anyone around me
but I also don't feel like being alone. It's cold, I'm
tired but not sleepy. There's nothing on tv and I don't
have the energy to play PS2. My book and notebook are out
in the car so reading and writing is out of the question.
It's damn cold out there (Added note-Sara, Chris and I
went to an auction this morning in Warsaw. It felt like I
had my two friends back again. I've missed them so much.
It was a good note to end on!)

Alright, I'm off to find something else to do. I may very
well be back and write some more. Notice I didn't write
anything about Amy in this entry. It's surely not because
there isn't anything to write, it's that I don't find that
situatiobn nearly as important or significant in my life
as everything else that is going on. Fuck her. Actually,
no. I can't even imagine that at this point.


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