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2005-01-21 22:44:09 (UTC)

just breath

I’m so tired of being here. I’m always here. Tired but
here, lost but here, crying but here. I’m so far a way
from what I want today to be. Real. I’m so close to
finding summer and yet I let go with every thing I do. In
the back of my mind I find the reality that I wish for
today. The way that freedom tastes in the summer. So sweet
and warm. I wish today was summer. Last summer. My summer.
The summer of love, 69 or not. But instead, I’m stuck and
I only can hope to have time to think of everything I
really want and everything that I really feel. Not only
assumptions. My feelings are only so real. I’m 18! I
scream. I’m 18, I sigh. I’m 18, I think. So much for that.
So much for today. So much for breathing. Not to
misunderstand, its not death that I’m talking about, well
far from it. Life is all I want.

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