2005-01-20 21:59:45 (UTC)

just another day

I’m not sure how to start this... I suppose with what’s
going on. I’m getting a little stressed out with reality.
i feel like every where I’ve walked this moth I’ve left a
paper trail. Work lists, applications, little reminders
set on post-its. i suppose it's been easy to be organized
that way, almost like dulling the reality of what filling
all these papers out means. My college application, my
peace corps... Forms, I’ve slowly side stepped the fact
that it means that I’m leaving and now it is just a
formality. Life changing decisions are just a formality...
how impersonal is that?
I’m getting to the point where I’ve grown so distant from
my youth that i don't even have time to rebel or think
about rebelling or hell, even have time to do anything but
Fantasize about not turning my car. you know like when
you're driving and you have to turn down the road that
will get you to where you need to go, well i would just
like to keep on driving. I’m stuck in a rut that just
causes yesterday, today, and tomorrow just to be another
day. wow that sounds like a horrible country song. i just
need a flicker of light in my scheduled day.

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