EssentialSista

My Aphrodisiac
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2005-01-19 03:46:54 (UTC)

I hope things don't change...

So, I'm back in da' Ville. Fred picked me up and we spent
the whole night and next day together. But what I'm scared
of is things not being the same between us. When I was at
home we stayed cupcakin' on the phone! But now that I'm
here what if all that fades away? I hate being a gyrl.
Or rather I hate having feelings. I have the tendency to
wear my heart on my sleeve and we all know that there are
parts that still bleed. As much as I don't wanna
catagorize him with all the other niggaz that have come
and gone out of my life...it's kindda hard. Ya' know?
He's a man. Anyways, so...after I left him that day that
night I finally met this dude I had been talkin' to since
the summer. A friend of mine hooked it up...networking.
He's in Memphis and Im in Nashville. He and his boy drove
up or whatever. Me and my gyrl Bri went out w/ them for
drinks and pool. We had fun. He was FOINE. Haha...I know
ya'll like and you think he shaddy. I ain't do nothin' but
peck him. I think I'd of felt bad. Well, not really. But
kindda. Hell, I ain't got no man. Niggaz need to make
moves. I hate bein' stuck in the same position for too
long. To be truthfully honest. Im scared. Not to fall
(well, that too) but to be hurt again. That shyt hurts.
I don't even wanna think back to those times. Hurts to
think about it. If only you knew. Ummm...it's cool here.
I actually kindda miss home. I think Imma get me a job or
somethin'. Cuz I have HELLA free time. Ither that or
volunteer somewhere. Faith loves the kids! I'm sad. I
just wanna get an understanding of somethings. That's all
really. Wanna know where we goin' with all of this. It
makes no sense right now. It does, but it doesn't. Can you
say confused? Like fa' real fa' real. I need to
ventilate. I'll holler back. Peace.


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