scarredxfears

Insomniacs United
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2005-01-19 03:43:43 (UTC)

ThE sUn WiLl RiSe AgAiN

I don't understand. I was doing so good food wise this
week, and then today I went on what felt like a mini binge.
I just ate and ate, and felt like I could care less if I
didn't stop. Now I am totally regretting this. I wish there
was a way to get rid of all this disgusting,calorie ridden
food that is floating around now, inside of my body.

Please do not think me ignorant. I do know that there ARE
ways to rid my body of it, but I will not indulge on it.
Frankly, it creeps me out to think that people can just
throw up there food. My reasoning is, if you know you are
going to get rid of what you ate, why eat at all? I mean
save yourself the time and the money. But they are in a way
lucky, they can still eat whatever they want. Ok, that
probably sounded horrible, and believe me I do sympathize
with bulimics. Our ways may differ, but we still strive
after the common goal-to be thin.

I have been trying to think of why it was necessary for me
to eat so much today. The only reason that I could come up
with was that my body was trying to compensate for
everything that it has lost. I should not have gone to the
cafeteria. It was an incredibly stupid thing for me to do.
I only went because it is a new semester and all of the
people that I actually hang out with are in that lunch. I'm
lonely personally, and it felt good to have someone to talk
to.

Yeah..so it is now 9:30 and I haven't even started my
homework-go me! But tomorrow, I swear will be different.
Every one has bad days right? I guess this has just been
one of mine. Tomorrow, no lunch. Absolutely no lunch. I
haven't had breakfast since like 5th grade, so that will
not be a problem. I just need to become focused in my goals
again. I want this. I need this. I will do this. I will
succeed.

May the bad day end
and let the sun rise again.
A new day has come, the past day
is done. Hope is here, have no fear.
All things will be better in the end.


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