Let's see how long this lasts
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2005-01-19 01:40:41 (UTC)

Time in a Bottle

I saw Phantom of the Opera (the movie not the play) last
night. Yes, I know the vocals are shoddy at times, but
nonetheless a down right BEAUTIFUL movie. I have never had
any exposure to it suprisingly. WOW. ALW is a musical
genius no doubt. The melodies are still rushing through my
head. How exciting. I went with Jon. It was fun. We
were the only ones in the theater besides a couple of girls
a row down from us. As I predicted, our relationship is
fun... or at least I think it is. I'm worried about him
though. I had hoped by breaking up with me he would be
able to focus on himself for a while, especially since Tara
is refusing his help now seeking merely friendship. With
all this, he still seems to feel like he's wasted days. I
am afraid he spends too much time with me and will blame me
for this. I hope it doesn't end up putting an end to our
friendship cause I couldn't take that. I try to let him
know that he doesn't have to spend time with me. This is
not to say that every moment spent with him isn't fun,
because it absolutely is and I wouldn't trade that time to
spend it anywhere else. I deal well with my own emotions.
I hope that this attention is not a form of babysitting to
make sure I am alright. cause I am. I don't want him to
feel that he needs to take care of me. He has a real thing
with taking care of people. He's good at it. In fact at
this moment he's out with a friend talking with her about
some stuff that causing her grief. He has excellent
advice. I only wish it were easier for him to follow it as
well. I'm here to listen. I'm good at it too. No one
ever uses me anymore, but surely I haven't gotten too
rusty. I used to be the one that everyone came to with
problems. I don't know what happened to that. Maybe I'm
boring. I dunno. People get tired of me I guess. Blah.
That was depressing. Ummmm... happy thoughts... OH! I put
my cd/tape/radio/RECORD!!! player in my room today and got
everything situated. It's wonderful to hear Ray Charles
and Lefty Frizzell and The Judds and Chicago and Fleetwood
Mac and John Hartford and McDowell and countless others all
in the same room again. Ahhhhh. My pride and joy has a
needle. Hahaha! I'm silly. I almost forgot to take a
quiz today. Luckily everyone abandoned me and I decided to
do homework and realized I had to run to the library to do
it just in time. Thanks God. You're good about that kind
of stuff. You're always saving my butt. Once again two
thumbs up. Back to time... My theory about wasting time.
Every moment I spend on this earth is a moment that I'm
wasting until I can get to God. That's all it is. It's my
choice how I use it, whether that be percieved as
productive or non-productive to society does not matter to
me. Even days that I spend simply taking a nap or laying
around watching movies or fishing are days beautifully and
productively spent in my eyes. Rest has a purpose.
Granted it would be wise if I spent some more of that time
studying, but it's all good. Yay God!

Final thought: "Say you'll share with me one love one
lifetime...." It won't go away. It just won't. I'm
starting to go crazy.