HeartOnFire

Living Out Loud
2005-01-18 14:35:05 (UTC)

Dreams

So I had an interesting dream last night. I was back at
Rob's house, but it was huge -- huge basement and
everything. And Rob and I were totally flirting right in
front of Kim, but I didn't want to do anything in front of
her for fear of confrontation, so I sort of led him down to
the basement. I had just taken his shirt and run my hand
over his abs (he always had an awesome 6 pack) when Kim
walks in. We pretended nothing had happened and she didn't
notice anything wrong. End of dream.
Then I wake up this morning to find a new voicemail on my
cell phone from Rob. wow. I wish I had talked to him last
night. It would have been interesting, to say the least.
So yesterday was a bad day. I'm not going into details, but
everything was going wrong -- the banks, my schedule, my
car insurance, etc.... And then I called Zack last night
and that sort of helped but also madet hings worse. 'cause
in talking to him i accidentally let it slip that I got an
MIP this summer. He's really anti-drinking, and so I hadn't
told him this, so he was like "WHAT?? you're just telling
me this now?" oh shit.
and then he starting berating me, saying it could have been
avoided, I should have waited until I was 21, "I still love
you, I'm just frustrated." OK dude, I'm glad you still love
me, because if you stopped just because of that, we have
issues. Well, we have issues anyway, but whatever... I
realize it didn't turn out that well but I really don't
think it's that big a deal. And besides, he neglected to
call me to tell me that he GOT MARRIED, which is something
I think is a little bigger than a ticket for a misdemeanor.
But that upset me. That really wasn't what I needed. I
called because I had had a bad day and just wanted to talk
and be cheered up and there he is berating me for not
sticking to HIS beliefs. You know, I don't have a problem
with his thoughts on drinking, but dammit, they aren't
MINE. I think the drinking age of 21 is stupid, but
whatever. Arg.
And then we were talking about me wanting to break up with
Bob, and he started telling me that I should just hurry up
and do it, if it were him, he would want to know right
away. Which I understand, but I want to have a chance to
think it over and decide what exactly is the best way to
phrase it, etc... Then he told me that I only date losers,
which was very nice. So basically, he's not the one to call
if I'm upset anymore. He doesn't help.
Anyway, I have got to get going. I have reflections to
write, homework to read, offices to stop by, a shower to
take, etc...


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