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2005-01-17 23:33:47 (UTC)

My husband :Part 1

january17,05 the past few weeks have been okey.the only
good thing that will be happening to me soon is that i
will be getting a check from school.just so you know,i'm
20 years old and is monday,by the way.but
months ago my husband would complain about how i would not,before i was married i would clean,but just
enough to satisfy my parents.anyway,we have been married
for a little over nine months.just last week i finally
started to really clean up.well,here it is,monday.
my husband walks out the bedroom and goes into the
kitchen.he looks in the fridge and sees blood from a bag
of chicken that we had thawing out in there.then i hear
him say"she is so fucking nasty".he was talking about me.i
go in the kitchen.he's talking about how he told me(please
note that he didn't ask)to clean up the blood since he did
last time.i acknowledge that he told me and try to explain
to him that i had cleaned most of it,but part of it was
hard to clean so i had taken a break from cleaning it and
had forgotten to get back to it.then he says that there
are dishes all over the kitchen counters and it's not
clean.i acknowledged that too.but i also said that those
dishes had gotten there this morning.i also said that for
the past week i had been keeping the whole house clean.he
has done nothing to even help keep it clean until
today.however,he heard no complaints from top it off
it isn't like he's working so he has no excuse to not clean
(by the way,i'm not working).my husband went to a temp
place twice last week,but only worked once.anyways,i
cleaned all last week and cooked.he didn't do anything.i
didn't complain about me having to clean up after him
while he stayed online all day and messed up the bedroom
and living room whenever he felt like it.i
cleaned ,cleaned,and cleaned.the last week i had felt like
a slave.just cleaning and cooking while my husband was
online all today,you can just imagine how upset and
bothered i was when he complains about some blood in the
fridge and a few dishes in the sink not clean.just about
the only time he cooks is when i'm over my parents house
and i'm not there to cook for him.i never thought that
this would bother me so much but i guess when i saw my
husband playing online all day and i'm the one doing the
cooking and cleaning it finally got to me.he wasn't doing
anything and i was having to do isn't
fair.of course if i say anything then he'll just get
mad.he gets mad over every little thing lately.and to make
things worse when i try to explain how he is getting mad
over every little thing he gets mad again over a small's driving me crazy.all last week when he said
something to bother me,i would just let it is
getting so hard to let things go now.i have really been
trying hard to be a good person.last friday i finally
couldn't let things go anymore.he pissed me off so much
that i told him to"shut the fuck up bitch!".of course i
didn't mean it.that was just the first thing that came to
me and i couldn't hold it back.i normally don't even
cuss.i basically cuss when i'm mad.that's really about i'm writing in my diary my husband is trying to pla
with me and make it all better.oh.i forgot something.right
before i started writing in my diary my husband told me he
didn't want to talk to me.i guess he's changed his mind
now because he doing anything and everything to talk to
me.however,i'm tired.i'm tired of trying to be a good lil'
wife and everthing that i do isn't getting noticed.i've
been trying so hard to keep this house clean and then
today when the kitchen isn't that clean he snaps on
me.just as i'm writing this he's trying to make me feel
better.some kiss isn't gonna help me to feel any
you know why?because i know that later tonight or tomorrow
i will have to clean up after him while he is playing
online.and again i say,it's not fair.

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