Saint Diodati

The Stock Report
2005-01-17 07:57:42 (UTC)

a survey from craig

I was looking at Craig's LJ and decided to fill out the
survey that he posted:


WOULD YOU RATHER????


1. Be able to have sex with anyone (consensually) for the
rest of your life or receive 1.5 million dollars?

Well sex is better than money.

2.
Have a gorgeous body but perform at best adiquetly sexualy
or a sub-par body (fat) with the most amazing sex drive in
human history.

Sexual performance/drive is a matter of choice.

3. Never lose your hair and not go on any dates/be
intimite for the next two years or be able to date with
Britney Spears and Beyoncé (or 50 Cent and Colin Ferral
for the ladies) whenever you want but eventually go bald?

I'm currently satisfied with my situation. 8-)

4. Have an/another older sibling or a younger sibling?

I'd like to see what it'd be like to have the complete
opposite of what i have: An older sister.

5. Be substantially happier or substantially more
intelligent?

There's no use in intelligence if you're not happy.

6. Have a lightsaber of your color choice or a hand held
freeze ray which never runs out of ammo?

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a light
saber. It would flash back and forth from orange to blue.
Yes. shawty. yes.

7. Be able to see 10 minutes into the future whenever you
want or know the name and location of the woman/man you
should marry (be happiest with for the rest of your life)?

be able to see 10 minutes into the future. Think about the
decision making abilities you'd have without ever really
spoiling anything that big.

8. Fight a wild Orca in a 200,000 gallon tank with only an
axe, or a lion in the african grasslands with a spear?


the water is way too much of an advantage for an orca.
correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm not sure if lions can
move laterally as well as humans can.

9. Be drafted into the US Army, Navy, or Air Force?

Air Force without a shitting doubt.

10. Live with four girls as roommates or four guys?

Four girls that liked sports and video games.

11. Be the world's greatest pool player, dart player, or
foosball player? I already am the world's greatest
foosball player. soooooooooooooooooo, pool. :-)

12. Be incredibly lucky for one year (20X current odds at
winning) or for the rest of your life have "perfect
timing" -- never be late nor early, always right place at
right time, asking girl out on date perfect time etc.

If perfect timing would mean being able to step into a
football pass at exactly the right stride or volley a
soccer ball at exactly the right time, or swing a fucking
bat at a baseball at the right time, i'm going with
timing!!!

13. The power to give any woman/man an orgasm at any time
for the rest of your life or the power to locate buried
treasure anywhere on the globe for only the next 5 years
(after which time all information of un exhumed treasure
is lost again forever)?

are we talking about like just snapping your fingers and
giving someone an orgasm? I think it'd be oh so tragic if
mr. randy moss all of a sudden had to tend to a fuckin
orgasm while he was trying to thug it up with a touchdown
celebration

14. Have complete control over the making of your own
hollywood movie (casting/production/length) as well as 150
million dollars to spend on it -- or write the most
critically acclaimed book of 2005 but never be allowed to
write another?

the movie, you could just do the movie version of the book
you wanted to write.

15. Appear on Jeopardy and finish with -200 dollars (after
answering only one question) or get caught shop lifting
pornography by your mother?

I think my mom would be more upset with -200 $ on jeopardy
than shoplifting porn.

16. Kill three children while you are drunk driving and
get arrested or play Russian Roulette with 2/6 chambers
loaded?

russian roulette won't entail any sever guilt...

17. You could have the dream job of your choice, with no
concern for monatary fees, and be able to have all the
skills neccessary to do that job perfectly, what would you
choose?

Sports Illustrated writer

18. Would you rather date a woman/man whom you were
immensely attracted to but could never have any physical
contact with other than holding hands, hugging or date a
girl/boy of slightly less than average attractiveness but
you could be as initimate as you wished. Both people are
equal in every other area (personality, quirks, etc.)

choice b.

19. Would you rather lie to your spouse by convincing them
that you have been having an affair (when you actually
have not) possibly resulting in divorce or lose at
everthing (monoply, gambling, bets, sports games, video
games etc.) for 20 years? Your spouse would be in a state
of such sadness and anger that an explaination on your
part of "just kidding" would *never* be believed. From
henceforth things would have to be dealt with under the
understanding that you had cheated on her.

Well. I guess that depends on how forgiving your wife is.

20. Would you rather be released 100 meters away from two
12 foot Great white sharks in the ocean with a knife and
ten gallons of human blood spilled all around you and the
beach shore ten feet *beyond* the sharks or have both of
your left pinky toe surgically removed? There is no
current and the sea is calm.

I think you're losing more than just your pinky toes if
you choose the sea.

21. Would you rather be Indiana Jones' teaching assistant
at Barnett College or James Bond's driver to and from the
airport? Doctor Jones is seldom on campus and Mr. Bond is
not one for idle chit chat with men of lesser standing to
and from his SR-71.

James Bond is a pompous asshole. The teaching assistant.


22. You are Dr. Ikari. You are an eccentric Japanese
Scientist. You are altering your genes to give you
praeternatural animalistic abilites. You can only splice
your DNA with three other organisms without killing
yourself. These following organisms available to you each
have benefits and weaknesses, none affect your appearance
unless specifically stated.

Bat -- Sonar vision enhances hearing 10,000% -- decrease
vision 50%, physcial stature diminshed 10%.

Cobra -- Ability to secrete fatal dosages of venom through
teeth -- lowers motabolism and blood temperature 50%.

Humming Bird -- increased motablism x 5, heart beat and
energy level -- must eat 1/10 body weight in food per day,
chace for cardiac arrest (which is not a disease) during
lifetime x 4

Gecko -- ability to stick to all surfaces including glass
using microscopic hairs on hands and feet -- You are
nocturnal by nature ; sunlight hurts you.

Eagle -- vision enhanced x 10 -- bones are hollowed.

Horse -- physical endurance x 4, male genital size very
much enlarged -- harbor at least one major mental illness.

Cockroach -- *extreme* resistance to temperature
radiation, toxins, disease and harsh environs, smell
increased 50% -- lifespan 5%, hearing & taste decreased
20% vision decreased 15%.

Vine -- 60% of energy comes from photosynthesis -- energy
level directly proportionate to amount of sunshine exposed
to

Shark -- Immunity to cancer, aids and all other human
diseases, smell 200% -- always extremely hungry,
unrestful sleep.

Tortise -- lifespan x 1.7 -- speed of movement decresed 50%
.
Chili pepper -- "hot blood" makes you loathesome to all
biting insects (ticks, mosquitoes, flies), increased
oxygen carrying hemoglobin means your body has more oxygen
utilization i.e. you're more physically fit -- unable to
receive blood from any donors.

Octopus -- intelligence x 2, ability to change skin
color/patterns instantly to match desired surroundings,
regeneration of limbs-- lifespan decreased 50%

Eagle, Vine, Chili Pepper...you'd be an
UNFUCKINGSHITFUCKCLUCKDUCKFUCKLUCKFUCKSTOPPABLE Athlete!!!
your vision is out of control awesome, you're more
physically fit, your oxygen intake basically gives you
crackhead like energy, all the while you're ABSORBING
energy from the sun!!! WHOA!!!!


23. If you or your wife gave birth to a severly disabled
child with three arms, one and a half heads, and one leg,
but otherwise perfectly healthy would you keep it and love
it, give it up for adoption or let the hospital handle it
and never look at it again?

how would that child live?

24. God gives you the opportunity to eliminate three
things from the world. Scientific laws, planetary objects,
people, places, countries. All things are all game. What
would you excise?

Liberals, disease, Islam

25. If you had access to a hydrogen bomb beneath an
immense prison city populated by only rapists, murderers,
felons, villains, terrorists and evil doers in a country
far away from you would you detonate it? There is no way
that the bomb would ever be traced to you.

no....a "felon" could be a guy who stole a refrigerator
from a refrigerator factory.




Ad: