My Online Journal
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2005-01-16 09:36:43 (UTC)

Sunday,January 16,2005

These past few days I feel so alone.It didn't matter
if I was in a room full of people,it just didn't matter.No
way of changing or even wanting to forget the one person I
could never have all to myself.I replaced that hope with a
tear overwhelming my very existance.Music is my only friend
to help me thru the pain of being a loser.Wanting the hurt
to go away and away can nowhere be found.Only the love of
another woman,Jenna who still loves me even though my heart
I gave to somone else who only played soccer with it.
I hate myself.I hate this emptiness because I know
now that it is so real and it is scaring me.I am hollow now,
gasping for room to breathe,wanting,needing,begging,longing
for a truth that had never existed,only in my heart that is
now so alone,so empty...dying.Wanting to hear one simple
hello knowing that will get me thru the day.It won't come
for me will it?I don't understand...I am crying now.