Lost13

Lost...In Life...In Love...In This World
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2005-01-15 16:48:25 (UTC)

...I dont know how it..

...I dont know how it happens....Or why,for that
matter....I can feel my heart beat...Then memorys of my
past flash infront of my eyes...
I get that weird feeling...In the pit of my soal...Telling
me something in a diffrent language...Something that i
cant hear...Or understand...
I dont know what im doing here...Its like...Im suposed to
be somewhere else...But i cant understad why I need to be
something in that other
place...Where is it??...I dont know...My life seems to be
filled with
questions...Emotion...Pain...Pleasure....Heartbreak...And
i wonder if all of
it is real...If im real...Why im able to live every
day...My emotions...Seem to have control over me...I dont
know who i am...
The name Chelsea May Jasper...Has no meaning to
me....Because it cant explane who i am...Its just another
thing of the world...Like a tag...
To show the world that im just another person that belongs
to them...Its not me in any way...It is just something
people look at...Like a mask...
I guess everyone has one...Something to hide behind...We
really dont have a choice...Names are the only thing we
have to make ourselfs known
...If we try to find our real names...We wont be able
to...Because your really just naming yourself after
someone else...Sometimes...
When im alone...i wonder if my heartbeat...Matches
his...In the past...in that moment...Or in the next
day...week...month...year...lifetime...
I cant be certan...Then I think of his name...Chris...And
wonder...If he has the same thoughts as me...If he thinks
of me...
Then I wonder what he thinks about...If he really thinks
of me...I guess he does...Im his girlfriend after all...He
must think of me...But...What does
he think about?...Im to shy to ask him...And I wont know
if he's liying to me...You cant really tell if ANYONE has
liyed to you...
You cant really prove it...You,after all,cant read there
thoughts...Cant know what they go through every day...Cant
know what makes them who
they are...Its funny...The humen mind is the only true
intelligents...Anything else is obsolet....But..A humen
mind cant understand itself..Or anyone
elses minds...They dont really know THEMSELFS very
well...But...Like everything else...Its just another thing
of the world...Like names...But
it seems to me...That the only pure thing is
emotions...They havent been touched by the world...No one
can MAKE you feel...Emotions have there own
minds...It seems...Its like there trying to tell us
something...but we cant understand there true
meaning...Sure we can tell what some emotions meen...
We know when we're angry...Or sad...Happy...Or
scared...But the ones that dont seem to let you know the
prymary feelings...The ones that you
cant idenify how you feel...There the ones with the most
important message...The humen mind just hasent figured it
out yet...

~*Chelsea*~


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