2005-01-15 06:20:00 (UTC)

Alone on my birthday...

The day of my birth, usually a wonderous day, one of
happiness, laughter and fullfillment... this yea it is a
day of loneliness, sorrow, despair, sadness, all because I
am alone... not physically as I have my family and friends
but I am withou my soulmate, I am without her, my love,
my life partner, my slave girl.

Christmas was already hard enough, and new years wasn't
any better as I cried on a friends shoulder, but today has
to be the hardest milestone yet... I am so lonely, so
unhappy, and at this time see no good in my life that I
wonder why I exist at all, surely if I am not able to be
with my destined soulmate, if I have no positive
contribution to make to other, then my own life becomes a
travesti unworthy of consuming precious resources. I see
those that were taken in the tsunami during the Christmas
holidays a few weeks ago and I think to myself perhaps I
should have been one of those victims.

I heard someone say "you have to get, to earn a living,
but you have to give to earn a life" and I have found the
one I wish to give to, my love it is to you that I
give my heart, that I entrust you with it and the burden
that comes along with such a trust. I dearly wish you earn
a life with you, to build together, to have you as my life
partner, to start our own family.

You have bainshed me from your life, have placed me in
exile, and I can only hope that your love for will see that
my love for you is not tainted... that my love for you is
pure. I can only hope you will let me into your life once
more. Let our love overcome my mistakes.

Love hurts, love nurtures, love forgive, love is
selfless, love is a frightening concept, but one I whole
heartedly desire with you and only you. Please let
me in your life oce more, let me show you I am worthy of
your love.

Your life partner

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