destinys_orphan

Destinys_Orphan's Journal
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2005-01-14 00:53:40 (UTC)

Lexopro... what a wonderful drug

Actually I don't know if it's the drug or if it's the fact
that Matt and I are on really good terms. Do I really want
to be with this man that I have loved for a year and, when
he was treated, gave me some of the best days of my entire
life?

Yes, I'm still in love with him, but I find myself starting
to second guess. I want this man forever, but I DON'T want
a man that doesn't want me forever. Understandable? Yeah, I
believe it is.

I am at his house right now sitting on his couch writting
in my diary and watching him make popcorn (one of our
favorite snacks) saying to myself that I am in love with
him. I really am. I don't want that feeling to go away, and
I'm afraid it might. He says he still loves me he just
doesn't want a relationship with anyone. I think he want's
to get back on his treatment and then he could look into
the possibility of getting back together, but he has an
issue with my wieght and that's bad enough of a reason to
do all the second guessing.

I'm happier when I am around him even when I am not taking
my depression meds. He just makes me happy and I know at
one point in time I made him happy as well. I want the
chance to do that again. I have decided that he is the one
I want to die next to. I just wish he felt the same way.

But What Can You Do.... sigh.


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