Growing From Pain

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2005-01-13 05:11:15 (UTC)

An email to Ryan right after that one

Ryan- So I know I already wrote you this morning and I'm sorry that I'm
already writing you again. It's just that I'm sitting in the counseling center and
it's 10:40 and my appointment isn't until noon, so I'm kind of bored. I feel
sick to my stomach, it's gross. I'm sorry. Please don't think I'm trying to
blame you in anyway. It is my own fault. Everything, so I don't blame you or
Les. I have nothing to blame you for. My whole body hurts, like physically and
i'm not sure why. I hope everything worked out for you last night. I hope that
you got what you wanted and that Les got what she wanted and that you're
both happy. I'll be happy for you. In fact, after this message, you probably
won't ever see me be upset, so yeay. It's weird waiting here because everyone
asks about me and the receptionist just tells them my appointment isn't until
noon. I don't know how that makes me feel. I don't really know what i'm
feeling at all right now. i know that I don't like it. My emotions are making me
feel like shit physically. I have a headache, I need to vomit and I think i'm
hungary but i'm afraid i'll throw it up. My whole body is achy. It kind of sucks.
I'm excited about going to Indianapolis this weekend, it will give me
something to do. What are you going to do with your stuff? Just throw away
what you don't want. What time are you wanting to leave? Get back? Just let
me know, so i can plan accordingly. Rene


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