Jonathan

Random (boring) Thoughts
2005-01-12 02:32:21 (UTC)

White Noise

By now, yo've probably seen the previews for the new
movie "White Noise". It's the film about the supposedly
true phenomenon of the dead contacting the living through
the static and "white noise of our modern electronic
devices".

Is it just me, of does this sound like a scheme cooked up
by the cable companies to get everyone to watch more TV?
It's bad enough that I have 80 channels of garbage. Now
you're telling me that I should watch the staticy ones as
well in the hopes of contacting old friends.

I can see it now. The next channel guide I get from Comcast
will say: "60 TUN (The Undead Network).

What's the deal with the dead choosing to speak through
static, anyway? Why don't they just talk to us while we're
watching our favorite programs? (anybody who wants to chat
with me should break in on an episode of "Becker") I'll
tell you what would impress me--If my dead uncle Pete took
out a 30 second spot during the Super Bowl. That would give
me a reason to believe.

We're forgetting, too, that the real victims here are the
dead. We all know at least one old man who unknowingly
married a ferocious nag who tormented him endlessly
throughout his life. In these cases, death is a chance for
these men to truly rest in peace; Until now, that is.

Now, there's no excuse for being out of contact. I can just
see aunt Claire now: "I know your uncle Pete is dead now,
but that doesn't mean he can't PICK UP A PHONE ONCE IN A
WHILE!"




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