Thoughts arrive like butterflies
2005-01-11 16:16:51 (UTC)


I just want to die sometimes, I hate not knowing what's
going on.

On Thurs I had my period and it was yet *another* painful
one so went to the doctors who put me on the pill, and and
told me to start takin it some days later and I was fine
with that. But when I got home and sat in my room I
couldn't stop crying because I wasnt pregnant. I mean...I
know it's a lucky thing I'm not but..also its not a good
thing. Would he have stayed if I'd have had his baby??
I mean....I know we used protection besides that one night
in Nov and had my peiod the next day...that was gonna
happen anyway, and then in Dec I had my period....maybe it
was just a fluke...some ppl get their periods when they're
pregnant but the third one just proves I'm not and i just
want to cry the whole time.
Everything's fuckin shit. I always thought Id end up never
meetin anyone I really love, then I find him and he has to
go back, never to speak to me again. I hope that last bit's
not true. I'd give anything to be with him again.