LibraLady

ImIn&Lost
2005-01-10 14:43:36 (UTC)

Sucky Weekend

Well the weekend started out ok until my husband threw a
fit and took it out on me. He has a hard time with the
people he works with. I try to understand and ignore him
when he gets like this. I'm getting to the point that I
just don't care anymore. What am I to do? Like saturday he
gets mad, I want to talk to him and he just makes me feel
like shit. So I shut up. I figure when he calms down he'll
talk to me, but no. Instead he gets back on the computer
and talks to everyone else but me. I feel like crap.I
wanted him to talk to me, hug me, kiss me, or anything but
instead I get nothing. Now usually I'll go and talk to him
when I know he has calm downed. And I'll hug him and kiss
him and we'll go back to there being nothing wrong, but I
didn't. Instead I stared at the t.v. and went to bed, while
he stayed up half the night on the computer. Now sunday he
gets up and wants to know if I'm still in a bad mood. Well
what the hell to you think, of course I am. So I try to
explain it and he still don't think anything wrong. So now
I don't care. I give up. Yesterday we talked very little
and he didn't attempt to touch me in any way. I feel very
alone sometimes. I just want to feel loved. I even told him
that if he would show more love that I might not get so
upset and jealous about his online friends, but his answer
to that was "I'm not like that and I've never been like
that." Well, he never use to talk online all day. Why am I
suppose to accept what he wants when he never try to do
what I want and need. He says he needs friends online
because he doesn't have real friends where we live. Thats
why I agreed to it. If he needs that to help keep him happy
I'm all for it! I just feel that he don't realize what it
does to me. He's never been a toughy, feely, type of guy
and I've learned to live with that. But this is different
because now he spends more time with them then me. He
doesn't see me all day, he comes home, no hello, no hug, no
nothing. It's on the computer in no time flat. I have to
steal any affection I want and I usually have to repeat
myself alot because what's being said online is more
important than what I have to say. Or aleast that's how he
makes me feel. So what can I do? Nothing. I could tell him
I want him to stop, but all that will do is make him mad
and upset, so then I'll be upset, or leave everything the
way it is and I'll just be upset. I don't know.... I guess
it don't matter. I guess I'll see what happens today when
he gets home maybe, just maybe he'll want to talk and
listen to me. We'll see.




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