sariki

My so called life.
2005-01-09 08:41:43 (UTC)

So much so quickly

Hi there

Well a lot has happened since I last wrote - and most of
it hasn't been all too great. Remember before when I wrote
about my Nana having just has a stroke. Well she passed
away on October 31st in the morning. Between the first
incident and then, I had been coming home every weekend to
see her. I almost didn't that weekend, but something
inside told me I should. Right after the stroke things
were looking up and she was getting a lot better, but she
just wouldn't eat anything at all. After long enough in
the hospital, she started getting worse and they told us
there was nothing more they could do for her. My mom then
took her out of the hospital and brought her back to her
house where she was under hospice care for almost two
weeks. It was odd because one day she'd look just fine and
we'd be hopeful, and the next day she'd look like it was
about her time. I miss her so much though. The holidays we
certainly not the same without her. My mom is still having
a hard time getting through it - understandably so. The
wake was on the following Wednesday and the funeral was on
that Thursday. Mike showed up at the wake and I broke down
and cried on his shoulder. I guess I was just trying to be
so strong for my mom that I hadn't let myself cry over
what happened. I still don't let myself cry over it
because I guess I want to be the strong shoulder for my
mom to cry on. It’s just tough sometimes.

The funeral was "nice" if one could even call it that.
There was a pretty big turn out and the minister gave a
nice sermon. The one sound I will remember forever was the
metal casket clinking shut though. I'd say that was the
worst sound I've ever heard in my life. It was then that
things really sunk in and I realized Nana wasn't coming
back. I know that sounds crazy because you'd think once I
saw the body I'd realize that. You'd think I realized that
when I saw the funeral home come to her house and take her
with them in a body bag that day. The human body goes into
denial however, I think to try and dull the shock of it
all, and it wasn't till that one sound that I knew she was
gone. Even to this day, I think maybe she'll come back,
but then I hear that sound again and realize it won't
happen.

My uncle Ray who was living off of my Nana is now broke
and almost homeless. He is in the process of trying to
sell the house and move to a small apartment, but he is
behind on multiple payments and in a debt that will be
tough to climb out of. I wish him the best of luck, but
also blame him for being unwilling to simply get a job. I
guess this is something he will have to learn the hard
way. Better late than never I suppose.

Ok well on to lighter subjects. School is going well. I
did great this semester and got a 3.75gpa. So far I have a
total GPA of 3.45 I think. I got an A in Statistics and
Germs, a B in Intro to Soc, and an A- in Fiction Writing.
Let's hope next semester goes as well as this past one.
Next semester I'm taking Essay Writing, Soc Analysis,
Social Problems, and Computer Programming. Wish me luck...

I am also strongly looking into going to London for next
fall semester. Don't get me wrong, it scares me to death,
but I think it’s something I should force myself to do. I
think regardless of how afraid I am, it would be a
wonderful experience that I'd probably regret not taking
advantage of in my later years. I have about half of the
application process complete so far, so I am just going to
apply, see if I get accepted, and then decide from there.
Personally I'd much rather go to Australia or the
University of Hawaii, but I also realize I'd get little
done in a place like that. Not to mention I think there is
more cultural education to be gained from a place like
London.

Mike and I are doing well. I am on Christmas vacation
right now (although it is flying by much too quickly!).
I've been mostly hanging out with him - going out to eat,
bowling, etc... My favorite thing to do with him is simply
cuddle though. I love to curl up in his arms and just
close my eyes in the silence of the night. We got into a
small tiff the other night but somehow he always makes
things better. I try to stay upset with him and he just
doesn't allow it. I guess that’s a good thing though
because any argument we ever have only lasts a few
minutes.

I've also spent some time with Lauren lately. We went to a
party at Joey's apartment the other night and it was a
good time except that we got lost on the way home and it
took us two hours longer than it should have. Needless to
say I think it will be a long time till we drive in that
direction again! I've also hung out with Tasha a good deal
which is nice because for a time we had lost contact.
Regardless of the time that passes between us, once we get
together things are just like they used to be though.

So what else have I been doing during vacation? I sleep a
LOT. Well never more than 10 hours a night usually, but I
don't go to sleep until 2 or 3am, so I end up sleeping
till 12 or 1pm. I need to break the habit, and yes I
realize I am not breaking it tonight since it’s already
3:30am. I need to get back into a better sleep pattern for
school though - so starting tomorrow I will go to bed
earlier. Maybe I'll wake up earlier tomorrow so that I
will be more tired earlier in the evening. Also I have
been working on cleaning my room - which I need to really
start focusing on quickly. It will be great once it’s
done - it’s just a matter of the speed at which I clean.
Slow to say the least. I'm also working on getting my
dad's 50th birthday organized. I got him two shirts and a
ceramic container and I'm working on making him a
scrapbook of from when he was younger until now. In it I
wrote up a little dedication and thank you letter that,
when my mom read it, made her cry. That’s always a good
sign! His birthday is Jan 26th, but we're having a big
surprise party for him on the weekend of February 5th. I'm
coming home from school that weekend which will be a nice
getaway as well.

Oh speaking of weekend plans - Valentine's Day weekend the
NSCS is having a semi-formal dance. I already got a ticket
for Mike and I and am excited at the opportunity to get
all dressed up (and have him spend the weekend up there!).
I think it will be such a nice weekend.

Ok well I suppose this is enough for now. I will try to
make writing in this a more frequent occurrence.




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