lonely guy

lonely guy
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2005-01-08 18:46:55 (UTC)

well this town is ugly....but at least the snow is beautiful. :)

Phew...ok...today sucks. I got home around 6am and finally
fell asleep around 6:30...then i had to wake up at 9 to
goto work! ARG! its 1:31 pm and i have to go back at
4...but thats ok b/c i just have to work till 6. Then i
gotta go over seths house and play halo-2 and antique his
little bro. which will be nice b/c he has a camcorder now.
Heh. im an asshole....
Anyways. yesterday i had to pick my g/f and my sister up
from school and i took jes back to my house. She was being
cool and shit until she wanted me to goto sleep with her.
And i told her no b/c i wasnt tired b/c i had just woken
up....BIG MISTAKE. How the hell can someone start an
arguement with her b/f over something like that? anyways,
she went to bed and my friend johnny came over. And we
decided to go over seths instead of hanging out at my house
all day. b/c it was boring and shit and i figured jess
might want to get out of the house...once again...a
MISTAKE. she went on and on about how we were suppose to
spend the weekend together and shit and how she didnt want
to hang out with my dumbass friends b/c i ignore her and
all this other shit. So i took her back to her house where
she kept bitching at me until i finally told her to shut
the fuck up and left. It turns out that she was going to be
with her friend megan tommorow! WHAT THE FUCK! she bitches
at me b/c i want to hang out w/ my friends and tries to
make me feel bad b/c it was suppose to be "Our Weekend" and
yet she can hang out with her friends and thats ok. I
seriously dont understand her. Or fucking girls for that
matter. They're all fucking insane. None of them makes any
sense at all. I give up dude. i seriously just give up on
us. I try to treat her the best that i can but obviously
she isnt happy. So fuck her. I think that she's the type of
girl who needs a guy who bitches and bosses her around all
day. Im fucking sorry im a nice guy. My bad. I dont have it
in me to treat people like shit. but i guess thats the kind
of guy she needs.
Anyways....now that thats out of the way.
Last night i went over my kats house. And she told me that
she really didnt do crank. Which is pretty fucked up to lie
aobut. I mean, if the real truth is worse than doing
crank....i dunno. But oh well. i guess its not really any
of my business. i just wish we could talk like we use to.
But we can't and it'll never be that same as it was. thats
the past and thats all there is to it. I dont know if its
b/c theres feelings involved or what but the closeness that
we had isnt really there anymore. oh yeah. lol. she thinks
that i kicked the shit out of my car yesterday b/c i was
pissed at her. I wasnt even really all that pissed until my
car was being shit. then i got pissed. it wasnt b/c of her.
Ok. so later we were just watching tv and shit. A really
dumb movie i might add...then i dunno. she just started
cuddling with me. which made me happy. b/c i like to lay
with her. and then all of the sudden we were fucking around
and shit. i dont even know how it happened. but fuck, that
went on for a while. Man, she has no idea how hard it is
for me to hold back when im in that kind of situation. i
mean, i was so close to just...nevermind. last night wasnt
tthe right time...and we both know it. So...hm...im really
fucking tired and shit but i cant goto sleep b/c i have to
go back to work in like an hour so if i go back to sleep
ill even be more tired. so i gotta stay up. Hm. maybe ill
post some songs on here. Ive been really into less than
jake lately. maybe ill post some of their shit. its really
well. thats all for now.

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