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2005-01-07 19:39:06 (UTC)

What to Do?!?!?!

Well...this ones difficult. I have such a hard time
believing anyone would want to be with me forever. I know
my husband loves me, but I can't help thinking that it will
change. I'm so afraid that he will find something better.
He doesn't have many friends. He talks to people online in
those role-playing games. Most are females. I don't care
really about it, but I'm afraid he will meet that one great
girl and say "to hell with my wife". I know I'm insecure
and really try not to be, but it's hard. He says" I made a
promise to be with you and I won't break that", so why do I
have such a hard time believing that? I don't know...I
guess I just have to go with the flow and see what
happens.I just hope he never cheats on me, because I don't
know WHAT I would do to him or myself. Sometimes I just
want to say "fuck it" and give up. I guess so that I don't
get left. Then I'm in control, but I won't. I don't have
the balls to do that, and I really do love him. I've got to
learn to trust him and not worry so much, but if I didn't
worry I wouldn't be me. So hell!... maybe I'll die from
stress before he leaves

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