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2005-01-07 00:24:29 (UTC)

Rape, told my parents at last

Life is so bad at the minute.
I told my mother I had been raped and thats how come I was
pregnant with Josh. My mother believs me and was very
upset.I asked her not to tell my father but she said she
had to, to let him sort this out.

Im not sure whats wors, my father knowing or the fear I
have of U. This all happen at 11 pm and i could hear my
parents aguing and I hear U there also. I am so upset. My
mother told me U has been asked to leave/

However I cant face my father??? I amembarreased and
ashamed amnd I just cant face him. I havent talked to him
and I dont want to.Like what do I say???

Im in my room with the computer and I have Josh and we
arent coming out.I just cant face seeing anyone.

I want to be dead.

I wish maybe I never told.If I had told when it happen
maybe , but I didnt tell and now Josh is 8 months old, it
seems a long time ago.

I keep thinkng about the rape that night and I feel like
its so real just now as I think about it.I cannot tel my
parents anything. I have told them so many lies that I cant
undo the damage.However the lies were to cover up about U.

I am so confused :-(

Im terrified they will tell the social worker that comes to
the teen mothers group.Im scared they will take JoSH and i
wont see him again. What if they do, thats so unfair ???
What if they give him to my parents??

Im just want to be dead if I leave my baby. Ims o messed
up in my head :-(

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