Claudia

NEVAEH
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2005-01-06 23:40:07 (UTC)

THE BEGINING OF MY NIGHTMARE!!!

Happy 21ST. B-DAY 2 me!!!!!!!!today is January 6, 2005 and
it's a day after my B-DAY.I'm so confused, i don't know how
to feel. In a way i feel happy, but at the same tme i can't
help feel very sad.I should be happy though-it's my 21s. b-
day!what's wrong with me???? Well i do know what's wrong
with me.In order 4 me to start a new life, and to be happy,
i first need to ask god 4 my forgiveness for all the bad
things i've done in my life. I can't go on with my life if
i don't feel 100% ready to start it. It's been so long
since i wrote my feelings on a diary, that i don't even
know how to start.In a way i had prefered not to talk about
it becuase it brings me alot of sadness, but i have to do
it!! It's my only hope to let it out all, since i don't
really have no one to listen to me, well actually i do, but
i don't know if they'll understand. I mean they should!
their my family and friends, but something tells me they
won't. Sometimes we need a total stranger to just listen to
us, with out judging us, and just help us get through our
hard momments in our lives...and what better than my DIARY.
Well like i said the last i wrote;It all started when i was
fifteen years old.Everyone thought i had everyhting,
everything i ever wanted, but the truth is that i did had
everything, but i wanted more,there was one thing i didn't
had, and that was "LOVE". Of course i had the love of my
family and friends, bUt i didn't had what the rest of my
friends had-i didn't had the love of a guy. I've known my 2
best friends since Middle School. I met Jenny in 6th
grade.The first day of school. We became friends instantly,
we had so much in common, we were made 4 each other. We
both like the same music, same clothes same EVERYTHING.Our
mother's became best friends as well. So jenny was more
than just my best friend, she was like another sister to
me. We later met Daisy in 7th grade, and the first time we
saw each other, we knew our friendship was gonna b 4 ever.
She is the most beautiful girl i have ever known. She had a
great sense of humor, that made everyone else wanna be her
friend too. I soon discover that i had more things in
common with her than i did with Jenny, so eventually we
became best friends.Us three became the best of friends.Our
lives were perfect at least until we got to our freshman
year of HS.We were nw more interesting in other things,
like getting our hair done, our nails, make-up etc.We
became more independent, but we still shared our beautiful
frienship. We were still best friends, but each of us had
our unique way of looking at life.Everything went well 4rm
then on, but soon our lives gave a bad turn....to be
continue--xoxo; Nevaeh:-)


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