funxster

My Diary
2005-01-06 16:53:26 (UTC)

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I'm fairly down. Can’t stop thinking about Rian 7 month on
the 27th I’ll have been without him and it hurts like
hell. I miss him so much.
It doesn’t seem much to lose a friend but we were best
friends something connected us together. All the times we
spent together he seemed to spend more time with me than
he did with his girlfriend.
But he was a true friend the only friend I wished for.
Perfect in every way good looking, great personality,
chatty and up for anything in his last few weeks alive he
told me that I cant commit suicide because Kat and him
would miss me like crazy I realised that he was right
killing myself seemed selfish I didn’t think about what
pain it would cause others but it felt right.
Rian came to see me and explained things to me I knew he
was right “Live life a day at a time eventually it will
come and your time will be gone”. I listened to him and
here I am today writing about how I’m upset because my
best friend betrayed my words and did the opposite of what
he told me. The one person I can trust in the world is
gone and the only way I can remember him is by his hat his
brother gave to me.
You all might think I’m crazy but I still talk to him in
my head, dreams and I write letters to him. I believe in
spirits I know it sounds stupid and like I’m totally weird
but it’s true I can still feel him near me and I know it’s
real.
Losing 3 friends in just over a year made me think I need
to stay strong and there will always be something to
remind me but I have to face my fears and its ok to get
upset its only natural and that even though he has gone he
is never far away and always in my heart.




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