The Confessions of a Sacrificed Soul
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2005-01-06 02:50:26 (UTC)

A Statement of my journal and jsut some things....

Ok so like I had this blog going, then I read the terms
and have decided to create a whole new journal. I think it
seems right to do. So I’m gonna add my entries from my
blog into this journal. Then, will start up dating from
day to day, or when I get a chance. I can’t always promise
that I am going to be able to post shit in this jornal.
But I’ll work on it.

This is 5:49 pm. Jan. 3rd
So this a log for my blog. It’s just something for right
now. I feel like I want to write more but I don’t know if
I want it to be for my site or just my blog. Huh...
Ok, so my little sister came over. She was really pissed
off at her boyfriend. She’s been having a bad week. And
the weirdness is coming back to her. Like there is
something else there, you just can’t see it or hear it,
only feel it’s there lurking in the mists of the unknown.
She says whatever it is doesn’t stick around long enough
to know if she shouldn’t feel fear of it’s existence or if
it is something to be creeped out. Anyway, she’s going at
it with her boyfriend right now. So and I went and got
some alcoho-mo-hol for her depression. Little lushes fish.
Ok on the real side. My baby sister it the coolest fucking
person. I kind of feel bad for her sometimes because we
had her getting high and drunk by the age of nine. My
older sister and I never looked at her as if she were
younger then us, we treated her as our equal. Maybe we
should have considered the whole age thing. We were some
wild kids. God, I could tell you so many stories of my
past. But I don’t feel like it right now. We are talking
about my little sister. She can rock out with the best of
them. Party like there is no tomorrow. Her personality,
wow is that a fucking trip. She’s a raging spirit. She
doesn’t take people’s shit and if she does it’s only for a
short matter of time. Then she tells them how things are
really going to go. She’s so intelligent, like you can
actually have a conversation with her and she has shit to
say back. She has a wild imagination. I had some
interesting conversations with her today. She’s out there,
that little girl is. Just fucking Insane.
We were actually talking about going insane. How people go
insane. How sometimes going insane could make someone so
funny to watch. And the fucking issues people have....
WOW! So we thought for the hell of it we would go look at
some self help books tomorrow. Cause we are weird like
that. Not only that, the people you meet in the Self Help
book sections, dude... they can be interesting. People
some times even more fucked up then you. And you are
thinking... "Man are they fucking fucked up weird n shit.
It’s a crazy fucking person." and the whole time they are
thinking the same thing. So really you know each other’s
secrets of just how fucked up you are. Some times you even
make a new friend to be a weirdo with. I always think
about the crazy crazy people all locked in an asylum. Man
it’s gotta be a fucking trip to constantly like in an
altered reality. Like the people who have 5 personalities
and can be a different person at the moment and not even
know it. It must be some head game. I think I would wanna
live a day in a truly insane person. A doctor once thought
when I was 16 I should put myself in a institution for a
few weeks. It’s not like I actually hurt myself or
something nor oppose the thought often. Once in awhile I
will think about killing myself, but I would never really
kill myself. I believe suicide is a stupid way out of
life. Just maybe I like the thought of how it would be
like to die, how pain with great force would feel the
second before I died. Death is vary interesting to me. I
can’t wait to die so I know what happens to life’s journey
after you living days. Like where the fuck do we really
go? What will things be like? Shit like that. Ok so like
back to the crazy doctor lady. She all thought I needed
help or shit. Fuck that, it’s normal to be ab-normal.
Everyone has thoughts of something out there that just
seems crazy, disturbed, twisted, sick, wrong, insane, at
some point in their lives. I guess I wouldn’t really say I
was the same way I was back when I was 16. I’m still what
they call bi-polar and sometimes I take meds for that shit
but not to often. I do not like to use being bi-polar as
an excuse for life, how it is, and why I am the way I
fucking am. I know some reasons why I am the way I am. I
had a fucking past. Everyone has a past.
So I like cleaned some of my house today. It was really
starting the need of some serious cleaning. Not just like
tidy up a little. But like wash shit down. Besides
sweeping, mopping, and doing the dishes every day. I don’t
feel that it needs a out right good tough clean but like
maybe twice a week. My bedroom on the other hand. It’s
starting to get out of hand. Clothing all over the place n
shit. I should make it all pretty agian. I got a Spiderman
theme going on in there. Yeah, I like spiderman.
posted by Sacrificed*Soul

It's 11:28.Jan 2nd I'm just sitting here bored with
nothing to do at the moment. I thought I would start a
blog and slowly add to it. At the current moment, I am
sitting at my computer all alone in the house. I'm getting
stoned, and listening to Mason. So here is what my blog is
gonna be about. The whateverness of nothing. Just what
ever shit I feel like slapping down I guess. I made a free
website today. I'm not done with it. I am gonna add some
more here and there. See how big I can make it before it
won't let me add any more. I'm gonna post this like to my
blog in there. Then if anyone really cares to see what I
had to write about, they could just go look and see if I
blogged anything new. I guess it's like my free project
over the internet I have going on right now. I don't
really have much else to do. It's all winter n shit out
there. Bleh. This here is the link to my website
http://www.freewebs.com/monster_on_butterfly_dust/ . Some
where in there I have a picture of myself. I'm not hot if
that's what anyone is thinking. I have to wait seven days
to make a guest book for it. But hopefully when I get to
that time, people will actually post in it. Now people can
see how dull and lifeless I really am. Some people I talk
to on the internet say I sound like a really interesting
person and that I'm cool n shit. My friends tell me I am a
super out there kind of person with a great personality or
some shit like that. They say I totally Rock! Right on. I
just don't see it though. I am just another soul out there
trying to make it.

Ok so this isn't the best entery to have as my first one.
But it's a reminder to me what I am doing for a creative
project to keep me busy when I have nothing to do. Maybe
I'll learn something new about myself. That's always a

Well I think I am gonna end this blog right now and start
a new one when I have something else to think about.
Alright, later.

posted by Sacrificed*Soul

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